Thank you ALL for the birthday wishes! I am grateful for the good energy and send it back, your way, for your holidays. SOME “THINGS” I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT on my birthday: Mom, people can all just make their own choices. You can make your choices. There is no such thing as materialism. On my way to Vermont with my kids last night, my son engaged me in a heated debate about materialism. The argument arose because I was listening to holiday jazz and Sinatra was singing a winter holiday song about how the sleigh was full of things: Oh my god, theres that word again. Its in every other song; somebody is singing about things - cars, rings, fur coats. I was saying that the subliminal message of holidays is so often be sure to get your things, things, things and my son thought I was trashing other peoples choices, which in a way I was, but really I was reacting to a pattern in a system that people are weaned on. So, as I said to him, I dont know if people are making choices at this point, its all so addictive, myself included. Im weaning off of things myself. We have to find a way back to the autonomous place where they can make choices. He didnt like that idea: Well, what if, say, a kid wants 50 video games. :-/ Does that make him an addict, or a materialist? he asked, angrily. What if a person with 50 cars is just, a car collector Mom, what about that?!! And I said, Hmmmm. For me, the question is more one of asking - does that person feel balanced. Do I feel balanced, or am I fixated on things, and losing touch with other aspects of life. And what I see is that there is a system at work, a system that we participate in, we as a culture - a system that creates lack of balance, in favor of consumerism -- so that it becomes easier to detach when making choices about our planet, or war.” I was thinking to myself now, about the last five years of environmental activism, and the observation that an abundance of things can be placating. Silence. Lines of car lights sped past in the fog like glowing caterpillars in the dark, splashing black winter night rain on my windshield. Harry James was on the radio now, fog drifting over the pavement. Its a very important question. Silence. I see what you mean, yeah, he said. “You do?” “Yeah.” “What do you think?” Silence. Mom. What can be done to change this consumerism problem? There are so many problems in the world. What can be done to change all the problems? I dont know, but I do know that we have to all somehow get back to the earth, when we are younger. Silence. And now we know about the multiple galaxies.. he mused, ...all there is out there is space - thats kind of freaky actually...I hope I am reincarnated on a better planet... he trailed off. O this is a beautiful planet, don’t you think?!” “Yes but, what’s it all for. “ Ahhh, well, we are on this planet for now, in these bodies, and we might as well seize the day I said, hoping I was offering something meaningful and not preachy. Live fully in this life. Enjoy the beauty that there is, and fight for what we believe in, thats what Im trying to do, and I believe you can have a good life here, I responded, with a small hurt in my gut, knowing that he was seeing harsher aspects of the world, a part of me wanting to go back to the days of teddy bear picnics. I had a remarkable pride in my son during this argument; I could feel warmth in the center of my heart, spreading out towards my arms and hands, still on the wheel; this was my boy, now a young man, grappling with how to relate to his world, with his life ahead of him. As we wound our way along the slick back roads, we came through the hardest part of the discussion, and started hearing each other. I realized he was not just stating an obstinate opinion; he was really asking questions for himself. I also realized that he was misunderstanding the way in which I defined materialism, partly because I wasnt really explaining my thoughts fully. At first he felt I was shunning all material things and then he saw I was talking about corrupted relationships to things, not the nature of things themselves. With bags of gifts in tow, and many objects in our lives that have helped us build a house and home, I said, “I actually like material things. I like pretty vases, and bicycles and jewelry and popcorn pots; materialism to me is a state of imbalance where a human being is over identified with things, and has lost touch with nature or value systems of the spirit and the heart. “ We came into a mutual understanding of the need for balance in life and he asked a lot more pointed questions, with great ideas attached, that really got me thinking. I dont shun all material things, by any means although if truth be told, I want to pair down and some day have a Tiny House. I often wish I could live in a Yert. Im definitely going off the grid, over time, and I want to live more off the land. I do not feel a need for any more objects, although I do want some new clothes now and then (I wear my clothes till they drop off my body, usually; they have a lot of character that way!), music, books, candles, and art. But if things replace feelings, or physical exertion, or nature, or intimacy between people, than I think there is a sickness and I think it is this sickness that has led us to allow fracking and other forms of corruption of the earth. This Christmas I am looking forward to the homemade gifts and sustainably sourced things our family decided to exchange. We have never done this before, and it feels right. My kids are into it too; it’s great! My son says he has written some stories and poems. I cant wait!! It took me over 45 minutes in one shop to find shirts that were made with sustainably sourced materials, and not in sweatshops. I feel good about consciously changing my buying habits. And I feel good about buying less. Less, less, less, is more. (Who said that? ;D) We are all very aware of the many people on this planet, tonight and tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow, who are alone, and dont have money, things, or - family. We will be including them in our thoughts, and fighting for a better world, in 2015.
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 17:34:41 +0000
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