*The Magic Rock* Part 1 This evening, I was walking through the west side of our newly-built wall. There were cement and sand lying aside, and suddenly a small rock got my attention. It was round, probably weighed about two hundred grams, had soft surface and almost looked like a potato. I brought it home, gave a nice wash and brushed away the mud and dirt that was stuck on it. I thought to use it as a paper weight, before my mother said it looked like a statue. She even suggested keeping it inside the ‘puja’ room. What if the rock is magical after all? What if it carried the ability to bring luck and wealth? If that is true, I am going to wish a few things. I might ask for a direct deposit of hundred crore rupees (of course I am not that greedy, a hundred crore would do) and a well paid job. But what if it doesn’t? Wait! Am I getting an idea now? I should probably claim that this rock has magic powers. It’s easy, with the help of science and a bit of theatricality, tears can be ‘forced to fall’ from the rock. And I am going to build a temple for this rock. Yes, I am a socialist. I think everyone deserves a chance to pray at the stone, or as my publicity manager might suggest, “Rock-a-leswar”. Everyone has the right to worship and that is the foremost important thing. Hence, I will probably build a temple near my home. A temple obviously needs a priest and I will get some schmuck who isnt good at anything else. I can also open a counter to book special pujas to be carried down for the magical rock, such as ghee-polishing or sand-bath. Of course, photography will not be allowed; hence I will sell the photos twenty bucks a piece too. Hiring two people for packing the left over ghee and sand is also a good idea, considering the fact that there will be many foolish worshipers who want to take it home. It will be a tough challenge for me to manage the increasing popularity. I can think of conducting “Satsang sabhas and Bhakti Samaaj” once in a month. I can hire some long-haired guy to preach about the divine powers of “Rock-a-leswar” during these meetings. The local businessman would be ready to sponsor the cost of pamphlet about the greatness of Rock-a-leswar if he can print colored advertisement of his business along with it. A couple of days, all the people in my town are going to get pamphlet along with the newspapers. The next step is to start the production of goods, sorry, the special temple products such as Rock-a-leswar wrist band and Rocka-Yantr. Rock-a-leswar wrist band will have miniature of the rock image attached, which will wipe away the inner conflicts and tension’s of one’s mind and will help him to get better job/secure better marks in exams. Rocka-Yantr will be designed ingeniously, consulting astrologers, fakirs and Sadhus. Rocka-Yantr will be an effective tool to manage and control the umpteen planetary alignments that can work against a person’s future. It will also be a good jinx-resistant and will keep away enemies to a minimum distance of ten feet. Those who can’t do anything of their own and those who don’t believe in their abilities will definitely fall for this, and will buy the goodies. As the popularity grows and the number of followers mounts up into millions, the temple of Rock-a-leswar will get its historical relevance and if I am lucky enough, UNESCO will certify it as a cultural and heritage site. With sufficient funding from some rich NRIs and a communal party, I can start the RockToday channel, which will have 24X7 live streaming about the wonders of Rock-a-leswar. It can stream prayers and pujas, and thereby attracting the old people into this business. Part 2 Upon request only :p #MonkeyWrites
Posted on: Sat, 03 Jan 2015 16:29:54 +0000
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