The day before September 12, 2008 I really have to go to Dallas. I told my husband. I felt compelled to say No to all the other things that were fighting for our time. And I had never been more certain that I needed to say Yes to running over to Dallas for my sisters 41st Birthday. My husband didnt understand, but was gracious and said, If you need to go, go! So I loaded up my sweet little girl and my precious newborn baby girl in the carseats and headed off to celebrate my sister in Dallas. As we drove, I thought what a gift it was, that God had just moved us a little over a hour away from her. I could get to know my sister again! With a newborn baby, if we were halfway across the country, I could not have gone. God knew exactly where we needed to be at that time. God always provides. We had a lovely dinner and they brought out the dessert with the candle shining brightly in the dim restaurant lighting. There were smiles all around the table. We sang Happy Birthday and I took a picture of some of my most precious people: my only sister and my baby girls. We had a wonderful celebration and as was always the case with my sister, we smiled and laughed until we hurt. I never imagined that would be our last normal night together before the cancer invaded and so quickly overwhelmed what seemed like such a strong and healthy body. But The Lord, in is His great love and mercy, had moved our family home to Texas to help carry my sister through her darkest days, to love my brother and my parents when the all too familiar hospital walls seemed to close in all around us. God was right there beside us as we walked through the valley of the shadow of death. To borrow the words from Les Miserables- He gave me hope when hope was gone, he gave me strength to journey on. When all the air around me was thick and suffocating, I would cry out Lord, help me breathe. Help me breathe. He would gently pick me up off the floor, when I simply could not rise. I never questioned it all, because I knew Him and I trusted Him. I had read my Bible and I knew in my heart and in my soul that God is good, no matter what. I understood Isaiah 55. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways, my ways, declares The Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. I trusted my God fully. He will not forsake his children. Today September 12, 2014 I dropped my children off at school, and as I pulled over in the parking lot, tears poured out of my eyes like a waterfall all over my pumpkin spice latte. I cried me a little river right there in my car. I then heard the Southern Gospel music of some dear friends playing in the background. The Hosea Bilyeu family was singing First Look a song I have listened to a hundred times. But today, I pictured my sister standing at those pearly gates and getting her first glimpse of Jesus! I wept tears of joy for her. Maybe someone needs to know today, when you simply cannot go on, Jesus can! He will pick you up like a father with his child and carry you through, if you ask him to. Will you ask him too? You dont have to try to be strong enough. You cant be strong enough. We were designed to fellowship with a loving God, but all our sin and selfishness got in the way! A day will come when you realize you desperately need Him. Dont wait until that day to seek Him. Seek The Lord while he may be found, call upon him while he is near. Isaiah 55. Just cry out his name- Jesus! Then, you will know that he who made the heavens is on your side and he will see you through! God has given me the strength to rise from my river of tears, and I will stand on the promises of His Word and seek to encourage others along in this journey called life! Forever will I praise the name of Jesus! Psalm 30:11-12 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to you forever!
Posted on: Fri, 12 Sep 2014 15:05:53 +0000