The rich man: A rich man is a proud man. He drives the latest Mercedes or Range Rover Sport. He is flashy and loud. He loves to impress women with money and he is perpetually talking about his six-bedroomed ‘residence’ in Gem. All men have egos but a rich man’s ego is the size of Africa. He likes to show off his expensive cars’ prowess on the road by driving recklessly- with the windows lowered so that we can all see that he has a Range Rover Sport. A rich man talks big; how he had lunch with his close friend ‘Evans Kidero’ yet we all know that the governor’s close friends don’t address him by two names, but on first name basis. His sentences start with ‘When I was in London’, and end with ‘Kenyans need to learn from the West’. He dresses tastefully and expensively and will never let you forget that his shoes cost Sh 17,900. Avoid this man, he probably earned his first millions a few years ago when he supplied government with biro pens and now he thinks he runs this town. My advice: Spend his money and run off when it runs out. The hustler: The hustler is a pretender. He drives Toyota Mark II, Mark X, Mercedes C180/ C200 and all those cheap Subarus you see vrooming around town. He lives in Kileleshwa and other congested gated communities I will not name. He must go for rugby tournaments in Nakuru, will never miss ‘Blankets and Wine’ and catch him dead in the house when Masaku Sevens is ongoing. Like I said, he is a pretender. He pretends to be successful, buying high-end Toyotas yet he is struggling to pay the car loan. He pretends that he is always moneyed, taking you out every weekend, yet he lives on small loans, borrowing Peter to pay Paul. He pretends to be sophisticated, living in those high-end apartments he can barely afford the rent just so that he can end his sentences with ‘Us guys who live in Kile are so lucky to be near town’. This man love to club-hop with his equally loser friends and take pride in how they had an ‘epic moment’ in NaxVegas (Nakuru) during Easter. He dress tastefully but cheaply, he shops on Nairobi Stalls or Sunbeam for second hand shoes, jeans and belts. He is christened ‘Baba Selfie’ on social media because of the amount of selfies he post in a weekend. He will post pictures of his food on Instagram and photos of ‘beautiful sunset in Namanga’ on Facebook and tweet from a dirty public beach at the coast “Mombasa is so full of wannabes this Easter’. Unfortunately, a huge chunk of Nairobi men fall under this category, and this means you will most likely date him. My advice: Go out with him, enjoy his little money but don’t lend him an
Posted on: Mon, 21 Jul 2014 07:50:11 +0000
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