There are two things you rarely associate with the Inglewood ColdCuts: (1) good hockey (2) winning Today, however, was no different. The ColdCuts went down 17-7 in what West Aussie favourite, Dennis Cometti, called the closest 10-goal shellacking in Street Roller Hockey League history. Dennis being the honest and up-front bloke he is, he noted hed never seen a SRHL game before, but we can’t see why that matters. In the first period the ColdCuts were shell-ami shocked by the intimidation factor of Melville’s most feared and most fabulous flowery Hawaiian gang. Slicing the ColdCuts to a 4-0 early lead, the Massiv then added salt to the ColdCuts delicious porky wounds by taking off their shirts and announcing themselves as having the best tits on the court (with due apologies to Twiggy Azalea). This two-pronged front of intimidation and seduction proved too tantalising a combo for the simple-minded ColdCuts of Inglewood and their preference for long, slow dry-aging of the finest Jamón Ibérico. Highlights were solid D from Piggy Smalls all day (it probably should have been 25-7), a sliced finger to Polony Express, and the Great Hambino keeping his hail-mary, long-shot, too-hungry, don’t-be-so-damn-greedy, goal streak alive. Mince-nt McMahon had to leave early but we still love him and you should too. Props to Simon for the Master Shredder award - a ColdCuts stubby holder because we forgot to go to Coles for deli meat on Saturday and they don’t open until 11am on Sundays. Wankers. Twiggy Azalea Bender Count: 5 days (BUT HOLY SHIT SHE WAS CLOSE TO SCORING TODAY. Thank god she didn’t, I’ve got shit to do this week).
Posted on: Sun, 12 Oct 2014 10:34:28 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015