Theres a good chance your New Years resolution will do more harm than good. With January 1 approaching, its easy to get caught up in the excitement of seeing a new year as a fresh start, and maybe you have a New Years resolution ready to go. Were really bad at setting reasonable goals,says Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist and associate professor at Harvard Business School. And when we dont meet an unreasonable goal, we fill ourselves with feelings of anxiety and lower our self-worth. On her research on the effects of goal-setting and how to avoid a resolution that will end up being a burden, she says these are the four most common mistakes people make when setting a New Years resolution: 1. They deal with absolutes- People are making absolute statements about what theyre going to do, and thats setting them up for failure immediately, Cuddy says, because theyre not always going to go to the gym three times a week. For that example, you may start to become the most determined gym rat around, but at some point in the year there may be a period where the flu keeps you in bed for a week or a few days when you need to set aside your plans for the sake of your job or family. On the other hand, its just as unhelpful to come up with a vague and distant goal, such as Im going to get a job, because theres nothing to latch onto. 2. They are framed by negativity- People tend to focus on things they want to change about themselves and things they dislike about themselves, Cuddy says. When you do this, youre eliciting in yourself negative emotions. Some negative emotions are motivating, but for the most part, theyre not. If you say, Im going to stop eating junk food, to use an example, youre denigrating yourself before even getting started. Youre better off framing your goal as eating healthier so that youll remain motivated and optimistic. 3. They are focused on the outcome and not the process- If youre focused on walking 100 miles, and youre just constantly focused on that number 100 miles and trying to track your progress, its going to be pretty rigging demoralizing most of the way, Cuddy says. Youre going to feel like a failure for so much of that because the comparison is between where I am now versus where I want to be. 4. They are reliant on outside forces- And finally, its a bad idea to incorporate other people and moments of luck into your goal-setting. If youre going for a promotion at work, youll be doing yourself a favor by focusing on steps along the way related to your performance. But starting off with the idea that youre a failure if you dont get the position disregards plenty of factors beyond your control, such as the mindset of your boss and any other role changes within the company. As you can probably tell, Cuddy is not a fan of grandiose New Years resolutions. In her upcoming book Presence, she advocates for self-nudging, a process of constantly setting small goals in lieu of large ones. However, she says its great if people want to use January 1 as a symbolic day to start with a goal that allows room for these self-nudges and doesnt cause too much stress. Cuddy says one of her recent goals was to fall in love with running, avoiding any specific number of miles or pace times. She started with a simple self-nudge to reach a jogging pace where she could conserve enough breath that she could have a conversation the entire time and started building from there. As a natural byproduct of this approach, her pace started to pick up. And she didnt even have to shame herself into getting into better shape.
Posted on: Sat, 27 Dec 2014 02:24:05 +0000