Think before you speak... >>>> >>>>Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - >>>>the last one is great! >>>>Have you ever spoken and wished that you could >>>>immediately take the words back... >>>>or that you could crawl into a hole? >>>>Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did.... >>>> >>>> >>>>FIRST TESTIMONY: >>>>I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow >>>>and asked loudly, >>>>How much do you charge for a shampoo and a bl*w j0b? >>>>I turned around and walked back out and never went back >>>>My husband didnt say a word... >>>>he knew better. >>>> >>>> >>>>SECOND TESTIMONY: >>>>I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. >>>>I was unhappy with the womens type I had been using. >>>>After browsing for several minutes, >>>>I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. >>>>He asked if he could help me. >>>>Without thinking, I looked at him and said, I think I like playing with mens balls >>>> >>>>THIRD TESTIMONY: >>>>My sister and I were at the mall and >>>>passed by a store that sold a >>>>variety of candy and nuts. >>>>As we were looking at the display case, >>>>the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. >>>>I replied, No, Im just looking at your nuts. >>>>My sister started to laugh hysterically. >>>>The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. >>>>To this day, my sister has never let me forget.. >>>> >>>> >>>>FOURTH TESTIMONY: >>>>While in line at the bank one afternoon, >>>>my toddler decided to release >>>>some pent-up energy and ran amok. >>>>I was finally able to grab hold of >>>>her after receiving looks of disgust >>>>and annoyance from other patrons. >>>>I told her that if she did not start behaving >>>>right now she would be punished.. >>>>To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, >>>>If you dont let me go right now, >>>>I will tell Grandma that I saw you >>>>kissing Daddys willy last night! >>>>The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. >>>>Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. >>>>I mustered up the last of my dignity and >>>>walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.. >>>>The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter. >>>> >>>> >>>>FIFTH TESTIMONY: >>>>Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? >>>>My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. >>>>One day we stopped at McDonalds for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. >>>>While enjoying my burger, I smelled something funny, >>>>so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, >>>>she was clean. >>>>Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. >>>>I asked him if he needed to go, and he said No. >>>>I kept thinking >>>>Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I dont have any clothes with me. >>>>Then I said, >>>>Danny, are you SURE you didnt have an accident? >>>>No, he replied. >>>>I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. >>>>Soooooo, I asked one more time, Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, >>>>bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled >>>>SEE MOM, ITS JUST FARTS!! >>>>While 30 people nearly choked to death on their food laughing, >>>>he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. >>>>An old couple made me feel better, >>>>thanking me for the best laugh theyd ever had! >>>> >>>> >>>>LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY: >>>>This had most of the state of Michigan in America laughing for 2 days >>>>and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, >>>>in the future, likely think before she speaks. >>>>What happens when you predict snow but dont get any! >>>>We had a female news anchor that, >>>>the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didnt, >>>>turned to the weatherman and asked: >>>>So Bob, wheres that 8 inches you promised me last night? >>>>Not only did he have to leave the set, >>>>but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard! >>>> >>>> >>>>Now, didnt that feel good? >>>>Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh! >>>>
Posted on: Sun, 16 Feb 2014 08:02:12 +0000
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