This is an open letter to those who love me: Thank you for the support that you so generously offered this year. This is a story that proves that thru pain and suffering come rewards beyond belief. I must start this story with an explanation of pain in order to conclude with an exclamation of overwhelming joy. One year ago today I was very unhappy. I had fallen into a deep depression due to an unhealthy personal relationship and the economy taking a toll on my business. I was in a daily battle with Wells Fargo, whom I consider to be an agent of the devil himself. I had parted ways with a long time friend who played bass in Shotgun Junkies. There were rumors flying that although were probably not true, were taking a toll on my personal life. Then my health began to fail. Ulsers, fistulas, septic blood and finally a tumor developing in my pelvis. All of these issues had developed due to undue stress in my life. From 2012 to 2014 I spent so much time helping others to repair their lives, that I enabled mine to disinigrate. I went from being a successful wealthy man to a broken and broke one. I had become hurt and had let negativity a demon into my head. I was not happy. In Feburary I had a near death experience due to septic blood poisoning. In late March the the realization that the realationship I had worked so hard on had failed and that I had waisted the last 2+ years of my life set in. I felt like a fool who had been used as a stepping stone even after being repeatedly warned by many of you. I wont lie. I am a proud man and being so blind was devastating to my psyche. I had at one point lost the will to live. At that point I confided in a long time supposed friend Bob Ash who actually suggested the best ways that a person could take his own life. He actually suggested that I do so rather than encouraging me to rise above. I later found that he had motives for doing so. Needless to say, he is invisible now. Then the death 4 childhood friends within 2 months and being told I may have cancer. Then enduring the pain of those treatments. I confided in my best friends John Spinelli, David Davis, Darlene Sahlin, Dina Mead, and Karen Whittaker. I had convinced myself I needed some counseling. My church gave me the opportunity to take part in a complete psychological evaluation which when completed gave me piece of mind knowing that my issues were purely situational and I was still of sound mind. I owe these people a debt greater than I can ever repay them. I learned the art of deep meditation and stress release and suddenly those people and things that were once of great concern became meaningless. I learned that only I control my happiness, no relationship is better than a bad relationship. Wealth is just temporary and a house is just a building. I learned that blind faith is not a fools way, but I also learned, not every soul is pure. Some are truly uncaring and selfish. I learned to guard my heart and soul. I learned that health is wealth and to be careful what you pray for. I learned to love myself again. I learned the art of being truly happy! Those of you who know me well, know that I have always been a one woman man. Long term is what I do. Even when I am dating, I prefer to take my time and not practice promiscuous behavior. From late June until late October, I shared my time with many wonderful female friends however had decided to just remain single. I was resolved and happy as a single man. In early November I was introduced to Renee, a glowing soul with a huge heart who has also had her share of heartache. She was happy single as well. Within 4 hours of meeting her, I knew that we were both beginning to wonder if our resolve in being single was misplaced. I have never believed in Love at first sight. So why was I feeling this way? Why do I see the same emotions burning in her beautiful green eyes when she looked into mine? We decided to put aside our fears. Some would say we jumped in. We did, but it felt right. Has it been totally free of misunderstanding? I would dare say no. Do feelings of insecurity creep in from time to time? I believe we would both say yes. But to find a person who has the same strict belief system, likes of the arts, music, food, adventure and almost every interest including our deep faith that God interacts in our lives is a once in a lifetime thing. Not to mention the fact that we find each other to be simply physically beautiful. This I believe is a gift from God. We are teaching each other daily and we are growing stronger every day. Thanksgiving and Christmas were wonderful. We are approaching the 2 month mark. We can not say with certainty what our future holds, but only God can. We are both warriors. We dont give up easily and we fight for what we want. Individually we are strong, but together we are invincible. We a super hero couple and we know it. We surround ourselves with a forcefield called positivity. We are motivated and determined. We are in Love. I believe 2015 will be the greatest year of our lives. Happy New Year to all of you.
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 15:43:51 +0000
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