This is something I wrote years ago (about 2002). I adapted it for my needs from another similar writing. I came across it again, recently, and decided to make it my New Years Resolution this year - and, well, always... MY AWAKENING A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out...ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down a tantrum, you blink back your years and begin to look at the world through new eyes. THIS IS MY AWAKENING. Ive realized that its time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety, and security to magically appear over the next horizon. Ive realized that in the real world there arent always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee if happily ever after must begin with me...and in the process, a sense of serenity will be born of self-acceptance. I will awaken to the fact that I am not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who out what I am...and thats OK. I will learn the importance of loving and championing myself...and in the process, a sense of newfound confidence is born of self-approval. I will stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to me - or didnt do for me - and I will learn that the only thing that I can really count on is God. I will learn that people dont always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for me and that everything isnt always about me. So, I will learn to stand on Christs promises and allow Him to care for my needs...in the process, a sense of safety and security is born of dependence on God. I will begin reassessing and redefining who I am and what I really stand for. I will learn the difference between wanting and needing. I will learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and I will stop maneuvering through life merely as a consumer looking for my next fix. I will learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which I must build a life. I will learn that I dont know everything and its not my job to save the world. I will learn about love. I will learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as I would have them be. I will learn that alone does not mean lonely. I will stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. I will learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. I will also stop working so hard at putting my feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring my needs. I will learn that my body really is a temple. I will begin to care for it and treat it with respect. I will begin to easy a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. I will learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so I will take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So I will take more time to laugh and to play. I will learn that, for the most part, I get in life what I believe I deserve, and that much if life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. I will learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, I will learn that in order to achieve success I need direction, discipline, and perseverance. I will also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that its OK to risk asking for help. I will learn that life isnt always fair, I dont always get what I think I deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting good people...and I will learn not to always take it personally. I will learn that nobodys punishing me and everything isnt always somebodys fault. Its just life happening. I will learn to admit when I am wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. I will learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of me and poison the universe that surrounds me. I will learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft bed, a long hot shower. I will make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in my heart, I will take a stand, I will take a deep breath, and I will begin to live the life that God has planned for me.
Posted on: Sat, 27 Dec 2014 17:01:20 +0000
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