This morning my kiddos woke up to some Easter Bunny loot. Nothing fancy but something none the less. My baby girl picked up her smarties and happily jabbered as she walked away. My 3 year olds eyes bugged out of his head as he excitedly, with all the drama he could muster said ALL this for me?!! as he picked up his coloring book and squirt gun. My 7 year olds response was the one that has me feeling sad. He walked over and rummaged through his treasures and I hear him saying A coloring book- do you think I am still a baby? No toys this year? Last year when we went to St.George with all my cousins I got a fishing pole and lots of candy. The Easter bunny got me pencils- I hate school and homework. I dont need these pencils. The more he ranted the sadder I became and it has been weighing heavy on me the entire day. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about happiness. How can I be more happy? Really trying to pay attention to what I am doing when I am the happiest. I have come to a few conclusions with all this brain activity (wink. wink.). One thing that really stands out to me is the need to simplify my life. I need to strip my priorities back to the things that matter most. The world is loud and smart- they have us believing the not enough lies. Not enough money. Not skinny enough. Not enough sleep. Not young enough. Not enough...(fill in the blank). I often think about what the world would be like if for one moment I felt enough? What would it feel like to be totally content with where I am at, what I have, and who I was. What would life be like in that moment? Id like to think happier. I think if we stopped trying to find happiness in THINGS, and started looking for happiness in our relationships we might just find it. By relationships I mean growing closer to God, being present in the moments with your kids, strengthening your marriage, serving others, taking time to focus on your relationship with yourself. For some reason I think this is one of the keys to happiness and I need to start setting that example for my kids. My next epiphany is pretty profound and maybe some will disagree with me but I guess it is my thought to think. One day I was feeling a little irritated at God, wondering what the heck the plan for me was. I was wondering when I would receive the blessings I thought I deserved and then it hit me- GOD OWES YOU NOTHING Kallie. Gods plan is not like simple arithmetic. His plan does not mean something crappy happens, you remain faithful and steadfast through it, and then he rewards you for good behavior. Sometimes the only reward you get is the lessons youve learned- you know things like; patience, forgiveness, humility, faith (believing that he still loves you even though you dont think he is showing it), courage, compassion, strength, etc. Sometimes the only thing we have is knowing that we have remained faithful and steadfast. I have asked myself plenty of times What line did I miss standing in in heaven? What am I doing wrong God? When will it be my turn? Ive felt frustrated that the so called blessings were not being poured out upon me, even though I was sure I deserved them. Until one day I woke up so to speak and I realized God owes me nothing. He doesnt BUT I owe him everything. #becauseofhim my despair becomes hope, my slate becomes clean, and my new beginnings are created. Because of him the things that matter most to me will always remain. How many times have we had an experience like my 7 year old, where we look around and feel disappointed for the things we dont have but feel like we deserve? How many times have we overlooked all the gifts we have been given? The gifts that are right in front of our eyes but we are too blinded by our deserving attitude to see them? I do believe that having gratitude is another key to happiness, and that happiness lies in letting go of the expectations so our gratitude can speak. Focus on your relationships, let go of your expectations, and give thanks- it might just be the formula for happiness! xoxo
Posted on: Mon, 21 Apr 2014 03:28:36 +0000
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