This will be the last time I ever speak of the girl from my past... Ive replayed everything thats been said, re-read every message ever sent, listen again to every voice mail, shes left. Relived every everything. Relived my entire life, since meeting her for the first time, and falling head over hills, to me moving away to Hardin in high school, thinking Id never see her again, to every relationship Ive had, and it falling apart because my heart was never in them, to having my first daughter, and wanting to name her after her, and my wife at the time saying, she preferred a different name. Reliving every late night drive, I did driving by where she grew up, wondering, where she was now. Every person, Id ask if they knew where she was, for 23 long years. Now, I have other things go through my head. I have Tonya Asbill, Kimberly Killen, Kimberly Valkner-Davis, Leean McMullen West, and Wendy, all people from my past also, coming from out of the wood work, to help pick me back up, dust me off, and hive me insight and advice, knowing Im lost... Insight to the fact Ive been lied to, led on, and given false hopes. Insight to the fact that, I was nothing more then a toy, that got put away, when I was no longer needed. It hurt to hear. And though two of them dont know who Im talking about, yes, the other two figured it out or whatever, the do know her, and how woman work when theyve been neglected, and unloved, yet still arent ready to do anything about it... From here, I move on. I kept the promise to myself to find her one day, and no matter the circumstances, tell her how I felt. I got to look into her eyes, hold her hand, and kiss her lips. That is what GOD gave me, for holding onto love for all those years. He allowed me to experience those little things with her. So Ill move on. If Im being lied to about how she feels for me, how Im the only man her heart wants, then karma will do, what she does best. If I am being told the truth, and all I have to do is wait. Well I was willing when we talked on the phone once a day, or text each other, but now I have nothing, but to be alone in my thoughts and to think about the things I do know. One being the lie that he no longer lives there, and only comes over for the children. Yet, hes been there every night, over night, since I was told that. I was told to move closer, so it would be easier for us to be together, yet I see you none now. That I was recently told, you are scared youll lose kids because of me. To my knowledge no woman, with a car, home, job, and who has never been to jail, has ever lost her kids in court. So I side with my old friends from the wood work, Im being lied to. I do LOVE her whole heartedly, and that will never end. I would have shown her a love unmatched by any. But for now, Im going to once again pick my head up, stand proud like I always have, and not be defeated. Though I am disappointed, very hurt, and feeling empty, I will survive. Like I said, I will continue to love her unconditionally and forever and always, but if she wants me, like she claims, make a move. Trying starting with actually getting him out of your house. Your not property and he dont own you, stop letting him treat you as such. Forget the pretty things hes buying you and the kids now, its about love. Falling asleep in a mans arms, that you love, and KNOW loves you, more then life, and spends his every waking moment living it. A
Posted on: Mon, 18 Nov 2013 06:38:04 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015