To Family, Friends, and Love: Everybody keeps telling me I need some time for myself to figure out what I need and find myself. I took their advice and suggestions and I am currently taking a big look at myself and the way I want to be and what I want to do. Ill be 23 in a little under a month and do you know what I want most..... I want to spend time with my family and friends and I want a special someone that loves me as much as I love them. Someone that I can come home to and talk to about each others day and share our experiences and make new ones with. Im at the point in my life where I want to start something big, whether that be having my own kid to take loving care of, getting a new house and making payments on it, starting a business, restoring a classic car, landing the perfect career, or simply just doing something more with my life... maybe an invention. Unfortunately, I have realized that because of who I am, I wont enjoy these things if Im alone. I tried to be single and take time for myself; I bought a bunch of things for myself, finished my degree, and moved back to the valley to be with friends and family.... I was happy with myself for once, proud to be me. But I could never figure out why I was so unhappy for over 4 years.... I recently realized that my only true joy in life is to make others smile and laugh.... I am not happy unless Im making someone else happy.... this has been buried inside for years, causing me to make decisions that werent necessarily what I wanted. I enjoy life only when surrounded by those whom I can make smile. It may sound like I have my head up my ass, but honestly... I am not happy without a special someone by my side to enjoy the love and happiness that I want to give. Specifically to my family and friends: I love you all and I appreciate how you have all been there for me when I need you the most. I need you all in my life, regardless of what happens or where I go, Ill always need you. Thank you for all the times we have shared that have kept me sane over the past 5 years.... you are all amazing. I understand who I am; I am ready to take on the world.... but Im looking for someone to share the climb with, someone who will catch me when I slip, someone who trusts me to catch them. Im ready to start my life. In the mean time, I will continue making memories with my friends and family and teeing my hardest to bring smiles to there faces. Honestly, if you have ANY comments or points-of-view that you could share with me, Id appreciate it. Im looking for true criticism.... hold nothing back, and let me know what you think. Im trying to stop letting this need to make others smile control my own happiness.
Posted on: Thu, 01 Jan 2015 04:28:43 +0000
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