To start off… I didn’t meet you at a point to when I was hurting or trying to get over anything. I was already over my ex, and it is still the same way now. I was not looking for anything as I said before. But when you aren’t looking is when fate or whatever you wanna call it drops things in your lap. In the beginning things were simply. You come over we drink, go out, watch a movie or whatever. Then things started to progress. I even tried to stop them from progressing. I try my hardest to keep you from staying to long at the house. I would not let you or want you to leave after you had been drinking so much. Then I seem to have lost control, you wanted to stay and I didn’t want you to leave. I hated to see you leave in the morning after awhile, and when you started staying the weekend…… Damn. I do not want to let you go at all. This time apart thing you trying to do feels more like a leave and forget type of situation. I am growing more and more jealous with each passing day. Jealous of the fact that you might be spending your time with another and not I, but I shouldn’t be jealous. Should I? Yet I am. We can be something wonderful. It’s not that I am trying to be hard or anything like that; it’s just that I am who I am. Very bull-headed. I don’t mean to be, but it is who I am. As far as to what I would like us to do. I want us to continue where we left things. I want us let nature take its course. If this is not something that you are willing or wanting to do, just say so one more time and I will leave you completely alone. But this what you want to do is stressful, cause I cannot get you out of my head. Your voice rattles around in my brain like an addictive song. Right now I feel like that Cee Lo Green song. You know the one I mean. Well it’s two that I mean. “Crazy” and “F-You”. Let’s stop playing and really see what we can make of what we are. I am not saying that we should jump head first into something. I would like for us to at least stop the madness and call it what it is. And at any point that you feel this is going nowhere, then so be it. As far as your children. That does not, I repeat does not bother me. I married a woman with 4 of her own. So what does that tell you? With you come the children, no matter the situation or arrangement. I am not your average man. I didn’t want to get close to your boys, for respect of the type of relationship we were trying to maintain. And if I got to know them, or close to them then that would have meant that I wanted more. In which I do. I believe I told you as much before. I just left it alone because of what you wanted. I keep telling you, IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT I WANT, JUST WHAT YOU WANT. This is how much I actually do care for you. More than just care, just not as far as the other. Do you understand?
Posted on: Sat, 28 Jun 2014 03:33:52 +0000
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