Uthando Lomzali- Chapter 1 Igama lam ngu Londiwe (Londi) , Currently Ndihlala eRhawutini, kwilokishi yase Soweto. Originally Im from Eastern Cape, East London eMdantsane to be precise. Ibali lam liqala khona , I was 16 years old. Background Umama wam uye wakhulelwa mna esemncinci Kakhulu,she was only 17, this happened while ebefundela for ubutitshalakazi eCollege, ekwi - first year. She was pregnanted by one of Lecturer, who was of course Older than her. All I know about my dad is that, He was a foreigner, Namibian, and had a family at the time , umama wam was his side chick. So my mom was kicked out of the college because of I-pregnancy, she never heard anything from my dad after that, cacukuba utata lowo wama ngomlenze omnye wasikhanyela esosisu, xa ndisiva he was protecting his job and his family,as it was against the college policy ukuthandana nomntwana wesikolo. My relationship with my mom was non -existence, bendimbiza uSisi, still do. Anyway She asked me to, esithi ndimenza mdala by calling her mama. So Ndikhuliswe ngu Makhulu ke uMamQocwa , whom I referred to as mom , besihlala kwa Nu 2. USisi ebengandifuni niks, the feeling was mutual, to me she was just a provider,there was no connection at all, ebesebenza as iAdmin Clerk in one of the Govt Dept. It felt like she blamed me for ruining her career yo- butitshala as if I applied ukuthi ndizalwe, also it was not my fault morc ukuthi ashiywe ngula mntu bathi ngutata wam. Till today, I have never seen my dad, not even a Pic, probably I should consider writing to KhumbuleKhaya...lol Later my mom got married with uBhuti Monde, yena ke ebesuka eKapa, ephangela eBisho as I-Director kwi Dept of Transport. When they had their first child, uEntle. bayebandithatha nam ndahlala Nabo , I was 9 yrs old then . I gues that was Bhuti Mondes decision. I strongly doubt that uSisi ebefuna ukuhlala nam. So I moved from kwa 2, to kwa 17, kwi Bond houses . Bendingafuni tu ukohlukana nomakhulu ,so is my granny, ebendithatha njengo ntondo wakhe but hey Bekungazothandiswa mna, I was only a child. UBhuti was the opposite ka Sisi in all aspects. He accepted me as his child zisuka and he adored me shem . Bhuti used to engaged me in meaningful conversations, mostly about politics, so I was rather spending more time with him talking about his work and other topics in General than uSisi. The standard of living kwa 17 was far more better than kwa 2, we had a helper u-Cynthia, I was also close with her. We also had a car . So life was good except my love and hate relationship with my mom. The story Begins .. As mentioned before I was 16 years at the time, doing my matric It was Sunday evening, we were all watching iTV , uCart Blanche, noBhuti We were at it again debating . Bhuti: You are becoming clever and clever everyday Londi, you must consider studying Politics next year, have u decided ukuthi uzo kwenza ntoni phofu, phi? Ndancuma, uBhuti knew how to make me feel good about myself shem Me: Politcs Bhuti ? A big No, Ill do iSocial Science ( BSS - Majoring in Industrial Psychology) eNMMU ( was called UPE then). I am intrigued by how a mind of a person works, and would like to study peoples behavior as well. Sisi: Isikolo ebesitheni apha Monde? Ulibele Ba Unomntwana omncinci u-Entle? Her private schools fees are very expensive. ULondi kuzakufuneka afune Umsebenzi qha aphangele, epasile enga pasanga. Yangena kabuhlungu Kum lento ithethwa ngumama wam, wabe eNgajiki kulento ayithethayo, ndimbona ba uzimisele. kanti ngowuphi Oyena Mzali wam apha ? Bhuti: ayizokwenzeka lonto Nosipho, Akho Londi uzophangela apha emncinci, she is going to eUniversity like other kids, Ive got enough money so whats the problem? Londi is too bright to be working as i-general worker, anyway ndizokumncedisa to apply for I-Bursaries , ukhona no TEFSA ( government loan now NASFAS) you should be rather guiding her towards that not Le uyithethayo. Sisi: Ndiyabona Akukho realistic Monde, ulibele Ba Im expecting again umntwana wesibini,kusekho neBond , plus imoto the list goes on , Uyayazi ndithanda nempahla , thats not gonna change because of u-Londi She was right ke kule yokuthanda Impahla, Andithi IAge gap between us was only 18, mna bendinomzimba while yena ebeslim, so we really looked like sisters. uSisi would come home nePlastic zempahla, I will think zezam ndifitishe, only to find out ukuthi zezakhe zonke. uBhuti ebengayithandi ke Le , hell end up buying me clothes, ebesithi akugqibuphuma nje uSisi will quickly choose azifunayo first kwezo mpahla, mna ndisale namasalela, Sometimes shell take all of them, then andambulele kwezizakhe zindala. Hayi andiyazi be ndimenze ntoni umama wam Shem. I even suspected ukuthi she is not my real mom. Back to the discussion Bhuti: Discussion closed, Londi is going to PE, go on and apply mntwanam. If it means uEntle must downgrade to a Public school so be it.Naku nawe Ufunda kwi Public school, akuphumanga Nto. Sisi: Kanti umfazi apha ndim or Ngu Londi ? She then looked at me Usisilingo yhazi empilweni yam, why ungaske ufe kubekanye? Or Ugilwe yimoto ? Kuphele ngawe Amazwi ka Sisi atsho kabuhlungu, I looked at her, I hated her with every part of my bones, inyembezi bendizibambe ngenkophe, I wanted to tell her ok ukuba its too late now, I am not going anywhere, Kwakufuneke wandiqhomfa while she was still pregnant, But I was raised to be this obedient child who does not talk back to elders. I kept quite ndajonga eTivini ndi sezingcingeni. Tyhini uSisi , does she hates me that much ukuthi andinqwenele into Yokokuba Ndife? And is saying all this in front of everyone including ihelper. Kwe Cwaka, uBhuti Wajonga phantsi, kuthethe u-Entle , ungabinaworry mtase Khaya , awuzofa vha? I loved my sister ,even though she was treated as an egg ngu sisi, I never resented her for that or ndibe jealous of her , we were rather very close. Hayi maan amazwi ka Entle afune ukundikhalisa, I stood up , and went to my room to cry In private. Besino 3 Bedroom, I was sharing a room with uCynthia, Entle had her own room, then enye ibiyeyo sisi. Ndifike nje e-roomini ndaziphosa phezu kwebhedi Ndakhala in -silence, few minutes later I heard footstep coming towards my room. I quickly wiped my tears and pretended to be sleeping. It was uBhuti, he came and wahlala ezantsi ebhedini, uye wandibamba emqolo endivusa Bhuti: Londi Me: Bhuti Bhuti:u-right ntombam? My head was still facing down , his words touched la Ndawo entliziyweni yam , why this Stranger Cares so much? U Bhuti ebelungile kodwa, he made me even forget about being rejected by my own dad, now he is comforting me and protecting me from my own mom. He gave me courage and hope to live. I then wept so uncontrollably, asking why ? Ndenzeni? I tried everything to make my mom love me, I was not in to Izinto zamakhwenkwe like my Peers, bendizithandela incwadi zam ndihlala endlini Ixesha elininzi, but still nothing changed. Bhuti: Sh Sh ...He woke me up wabeka intloko yam phezu Kwakhe, endithuthuzela, Sukhala kaloku , your mom is pregnant andithi? Sumhoya wena , she does not mean any of that , its just hormones, We lovey you , nawe Uyayazi lonto. Do you want me to show you ? Ndahleka , Kodwa inyembezi ziyaphuma ecaleni. uBhuti had a way Shem yokundonwabisa. ebengumzali wokwe nene I looked at him, ndamncumela Me: Bhuti undenzu mntwana wena, I am not Entle, Even if ndiyakhala now, I know ndizoba-right . Its just that uSisi uhlelele ukundihlukumeza njalo, kubangcono ma ukhona, xa ungekho hayi uyagqithisa Shem . Andiyazi ke Le yokuba nonke niyandithanda, endiyaziyo yeyokuba its only you , Entle and Cynthia abandithandayo , you dont have to show me, I can see it in many ways. Khona , How are you going to show me? Bhuti: Wahleka, Im glad that you know that thina siyagcwala nguwe, Do you really want me to show you ? Sure , Sure ?
Posted on: Fri, 19 Sep 2014 19:27:41 +0000
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