Watching TV and Typing Out Loud… By Tracy K. Lorenz September 16, 2014 What’s harder to believe; “Dancing with the Stars” has been on for nineteen years, or I haven’t watched one second of “Dancing with the Stars” in nineteen years? I’m going with number one. This is strictly a physical observation and has no hidden agenda: Has anyone else noticed that as President Obama’s hair gets grayer his lips get less blue? If there were no cats Facebook posts would decrease 78%. Not only do these people have cats, they spend time filming their cats. That is not a life well lived. Speaking of Facebook, being a regular at Starbucks is nothing to brag about. Did you ever notice on TV and in movies when an alien talks they never use contractions? I’m always amused by people who try to be cool vicariously via the use of Apple products. The thing is they’ve been sheepified into believing Apple products are superior and because they’ve never owned any other kind of phone or computer they think that’s true. Trust me on this one, Android phones dust Apple phones. Speaking of technology; how long before automated answering systems quit asking if I’m calling from a touchtone phone? I’d say if anyone still has a rotary phone I doubt it’s their only phone and if it is their only phone, well, that’s why dinosaurs are no longer with us, they couldn’t adapt. Q: Which is more ridiculous: Asking if I’m calling from a touchtone phone or putting an “Unleaded Fuel Only” sticker on my gas cap? A: Having a stewardess demonstrate how to buckle a seat belt. I didn’t watch the Miss America pageant but I did see video of the winner’s performance during the talent portion of the show. For those of you who missed it, she sat on the floor cross legged and sang “Happy” while doing percussion with a red plastic cup. We as a society are doomed. Is it politically incorrect to refer to someone sitting cross legged as sitting “Indian style?” Is that a done deal? Speaking of Indians, did you ever notice in the old Western’s when an Indian got shot he’d let out a mighty scream before dying whereas white guys would just curl up in a ball and fall over? I think Ray Rice’s punishment should be getting whipped by Adrian Peterson. I think Adrian Peterson’s punishment should be way worse than whatever penalty is handed down. But Charles Barkley saying Peterson whipping his kid was no big deal because that’s how people treat their kids in the south may have a drop of truth to it. I had a guy working for me named Otis, he was from Arkansas and every story he told started out with a date and a city and ended up with him getting beaten by a parent. “In July of 1986 I was down in Jacksonville, Florida…(three minute story)…I got an ass whoppin for that one. What could a four-year-old do to deserve getting whipped with a stick? I could never hit my kid. Then again, I believe Adrian has, like, five kids from four different mothers so maybe he isn’t quite as close to his children as some of us are. But what I really hate is how the liberal media has now taken over the NFL. If I watch an NFL pregame show I don’t want to hear about punching a girlfriend or beating a kid or a gay guy getting drafted in the seventh round, I want to hear about football. There are plenty of other media outlets to turn too if I want to hear about the ancillary stuff. If I turn on NFL Today and see Bob Costa’s morbidly made-up face I turn that channel pronto. Every freakin’ week it’s some new cause and some new outrage. Dear Muskegon; seriously, how many times can you listen to Shamus McGee?
Posted on: Wed, 24 Sep 2014 01:39:30 +0000
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