Well just wanted to share some interesting dreams I have had since just after Christmas: I have dreamed that I was driving in my grannys yard (who hasnt been alive since I was in 9th grade) and was being gotten on to by her for running over her flower beds with the car although I only did so because of A giant yellow and black spider and was explaining that to her when I woke up. Then few nights ago I dreamed my husband was driving either a bisscotti or visconti race car...why I have no clue but interesting the dreams which I recalled. I am not fond of very very lively vivid dreams because in my past I have had some that seemed to be a bit related to life in reality..in the October before my youngest brother died in January, I had a dreamed that the world was ending and no one believed me but I was asked if my brother Joe was ready and if someone else was and was told that it was my last chance to get things straight...I was in a church the next day there was church...then I kept dreaming that I would wreck my car in the nursing school parking lot going over a bridge that wasnt there and the wreck was so bad I should have never survived it but always did. In January following all that my brother Joe was killed in a car wreck, I totaled my car attempting to drive home for his funeral, and had to fly home. When my oldest brother, Lamar, was dying I again had a dream but the difference with it was we had been down to see him before he passed away and I told him if it was meant to be we would see each other again on earth and if not we would see each other again in Gods time..and told him if he needed to go then please go..I loved him and so did his family and friends. I had a nasty migraine headache all the way home from that trip even after we made a stop overnight trying to get that to help me get over it. We got home late Saturday evening and when I woke up Sunday morning I recalled my dream ...My Aunt Vivian and my brother Joe ...whom I knew were not alive...and I had a conversation...they told me that everything was going to be okay and that it wouldnt be much longer...so all day Sunday I kept expecting to get that final call..it came on Monday afternoon and you think that because you know someone is dying it will be easier when they go but it was actually just as hard if not harder...I love my sisters greatly but my brothers were the ones I talked to the most and I miss that ..having someone I can call whenever no matter the hour and either encourage or get encouragement from..you see with Joe we had just talked the Tuesday before his death...he was telling me how excited he was about getting to be a volunteer firefighter and the fire he had just helped put out..few weeks before that he had been asking me if I thought Uncle JD would be proud of him and his choices and If I was okay with him being a firefighter..I told him it wasnt me that he needed approval from it was his family..his wife and kids..but I told him that if it was what he felt was right for him then to go for it and that I am sure Uncle JD would be proud of him...I was also trying out different colors of wigs and he had me redo one of them and said that he liked the fact I reminded him of how Granny Ward looked because he had almost forgotten....with Lamar..we talked almost daily so I just figured he was really busy with his new job when hadnt heard from him in a couple of days because with his and my work schedules we didnt always get to connect...but apparently it was much worse..Joe was a shock and Lamar was a knowing but they still hurt the same....Then about a month before I found out I was pregnant with Emily I kept dreaming that mark and I had to chase this baby around and through a bunch of ruby and emerald jeweled caves and catch it in order to save it...well I think I caught my little monkey ....she is a true blessing in disguise and there are days that I think really?????????? with her and others that I could be happier but that is every day of every parent at some point I think....and I once I had a dream that my son Stevens throat had been sliced..I couldnt sleep til I knew he was alive and okay I didnt care that it was 2 am..........and when he called me he just said Mom, you should no better and my reply was son, no I shouldnt with some of the choices you are making in life right now but I am relieved to know you are okay ..He has came a long way since then and I am so proud of him for working hard to be better in all he does. Sorry for the long posting but guess I just needed to unbottle some stuff that has been held in for many years...bad habit of a free flowing mind with writing or typing in this case.
Posted on: Wed, 07 Jan 2015 01:13:33 +0000
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