What a load of shite. Ghost Shit Thats the kind where you feel the shit come out, have shit on the toilet paper, but there is no shit in the toilet. Clean Shit The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper. Second Wave Shit It happens when youre done shitting, youve pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realise that you have to shit some more. Brain Haemorrhage Shit Also known as Pop a vein in your forehead shit. the kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke. Sweetcorn Shit Self Explanatory. Log shit The kind of shit that is so huge that youre afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush. Drinkers shit That is the kind of shit that you have the morning after a long night of drinking - its most noticeable trait is the skid marks left on the bottom of the toilet. Gee I wish I could shit shit Its the kind of shit where you want to shit, but all you do is sit on the toilet with cramps and fart a few times. Spinal Tap Shit Thats the one where it hurts so much coming out that you swear it was leaving you sideways. Wet Cheeks Shit Also known as The Power dump Thats the kind that comes out of your arse so fast that your arse cheeks get splashed with the toilet water. Liquid Shit The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your arse, splashes all over the inside of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender Ring piece. Mexican Food Shit A class all its own. The Crowd Pleaser This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone. Mood Enhancer This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, allowing you to be your old self again. The Ritual This shit occurs at the same time time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper. Guinness Book of Records Shit A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations. The aftershock shit This shit has an odour so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected. The Honeymoons over shit This is any shit created in the presence of another person. Groaner A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance. Floater Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushes. Ranger A shit which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper. Phantom Shit This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit putting it there. Peek-a-boo-shit Now you see it, now you dont. this shit is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control. The bombshell A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to shit (i.e. during love making or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities. Snake Charmer A long skinny shit which has managed to coil into a frightening position - usually harmless. Olympic Shit This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinkers shit.
Posted on: Tue, 03 Dec 2013 23:14:37 +0000
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