When I think of all the things that we do due to a programmed mind and the constraints of society, one of the most obvious and most apparent examples of socially reinforced or rather coerced behaviors flashes in the mind. Its when people tip in restaurants. Not that I’m against this social ritual or I condemn those who practice it, but I’m definitely bitter and helpless in being subtly forced to be a part of it and practice it. To those who’d say it’s an individual choice and we are free to not do it, I’d say your almost right (Not Completely) It comes down to one of those cases where you really have to be a strong personality not vulnerable to social influence and people’s judgments about you to be able to avoid being a victim of it. And since many (infact most ) of us can’t be so indifferent to what people think of them and how their behavior is perceived as in a highly formal and social situation, they have no other choice but to sadly adhere to the norms and do what is expected of them to do. Just drop in the tip !! Now this article is not really intended for those few rational minded people who believe that Not tipping is fine and its not rude or unsophisticated. Its for the majority of them who think its CRUEL not to tip. I fail to understand how. How does it make me obliged to pay the waiter or the waitress that extra money for their service, when I am already paying the dinner/lunch fees. I recently took my friend to this Indian restaurant in Toronto where the food was very average (just my opinion) and the services below average. By services I refer to how the staff treats you, how they attend and serve you. Now we know its not a very Indian thing to greet your clients/guests with a warm welcome or a client/customer chit chat unlike our western counter parts, though it wasn’t even something I was expecting. I mean I’m there for food, I really don’t care about being treated special, the least you expect in a restaurant is being attended to and being served at time. Sadly we had to wait 30 min before someone came to take our order and another 45 min after we ordered the food. I had to give them gentle reminders every once in a while which seemed to work (without which I guess we would have been there forever without making it to the lunch) When it came to paying the bill, I opted to pay by the debit card. (Because I thought I could avoid paying an extra tip that ways) Now we all know that before you can make the transaction and pay your bill, the machine asks you ‘’give a tip ?’’ and you can just press the NO button and proceed with the payment. But these people here had crossed that decent line that separates polite request from extortion. The card machine had been so programmed that you have no way out else than putting in the amount of tip. This baffled me. It read “Enter the tip amount or percentage’’ And I ask the waitress could you please guide me through this it seems to have skipped a previous step. And she says ‘’You can simple choose the percentage sir, usually people put in 15%’’ And I had by that time, lost the privacy to be able to type the amount I want to because I had gotten her involved and now she was watching me. Once again, its very close to a blame game trying to avoid my responsibility for being submissive and not being affirmative enough to ask ‘’How can I avoid paying the tip option ?’’ But seriously, how many of us could do that in a high profile restaurant with your partner sitting in front of you ? Like a fool I just entered 15 and enter, there we go. My original bill which was something about 41$ jumped to 50$ with a tip of 9$ !! that’s 420 INR. Wow. I had a british friend tell me the nobleness of the tradition of tipping and why it is CRUEL not to tip. He said, its an expression of gratitude to the person who served you food, and took care of you. Its an act of generosity which only gentlemen practice, its sharing a part of what you have with the community that serves you. There was more he said but I lost the interest in following his words there after. I wonder if people who strongly insist on tipping tradition do realize it or not, but there is a subtle discrimination in their behavior when they tip a waiter in a restaurant but give nothing to the clerks or employees at fast food corners. Just because they didn’t bring the food to your table doesn’t mean they didn’t work hard enough in preparing the food and serving you at the counter. Why not tip the girl at Mc donalds who works for the minimum wage (And for we know almost all the fast food corners employ their workers for minimum wage, way lesser than private restaurants where workers end up making almost double sometimes of what they are payed, due to tips) If tipping really is what its advocated as by the patrons of our civil society and the regulators of the socially appropriate conduct, then why is it limited to one situation only. Why not extend and apply this beautiful compassionate tradition to the workers at motor garage, gas stations, plumbers, the firemen, the busker at the subway station and so on…. The only possible reason I can figure out is because in almost every other situation, tipping doesn’t enhance their perceived status and royalty. Researches show that people tend to tip more in the situations where they are in bigger social groups and being watched by others. Though this is not intended to offend any of those who tip without caring about how others around are perceiving them, it’s a general theory that does make sense for most of us. Nothing wrong in there, after all we all want to make an impression on our dates, our business delegates, our first time clients, or the high school renunion friends to show them how well we are doing and how generous we are. The problem arises when those working in the food industry start to expect it from every one and indulge in billing strategies that indirectly compel people to pay that extra bill. And the problem rises all the more when people take it so seriously because they thing this is an appropriate social conduct and start looking at those who do not comply with it, with indifference.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 19:54:12 +0000
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