“When you are not honoring the present moment by allowing it to be, you are creating drama.” ~Eckhart Tolle Well into my twenties, all of my friendships with women looked a lot like junior high. One day, we’d be codependent and attached at the hip, sending incessant play-by-play emails throughout the workday like one too many notes in class. The next day, we’d be dragging each other by the hair into a heap of combined emotional issues, complete with nasty suspicions, unfounded accusations, and a dramatic reconciliation that would inevitably be short-lived. Shortly after one toxic friendship eroded, I found a new one, like a mythological creature that regenerates its head immediately after it’s cut off. Things weren’t much different with the men I dated. For a long time, I lamented all the damaging relationships I’d been in, as if I was some kind of victim who always got the short end of the stick. Then one day I realized there was a reason I always found myself in dramatic relationships: I was attracted to drama like a moth to a flame. Chaos was the status quo for the majority of my life, and when it wasn’t there, I panicked. I didn’t feel comfortable unless I was fighting someone, or at the very least, fighting myself. The things I said and did contradicted because it was easier to blame the world and stay the same than it would be to really see myself and make a change.
Posted on: Fri, 27 Jun 2014 05:59:29 +0000
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