Why the hell am I still DATING BLACK WOMEN? A tall, Blonde, hazel eyed Arian Beauty walked into my Black-owned, professionally-hood barber shop today, greeted by a cascade of compliments, as each patrons brown eyes followed her from the very moment she got out of her car. She had successfully made it pass the dozen Brown Skinned Beauties standing outside of the barbershop, staring daggers at her. There are always at least a dozen Black Women standing outside my barbershop, dressed in club attire, hair freshly done, make-up on point, high heel game vicious, wearing their best body suit or mini skirt. These Women have careers, own businesses & are in grad school, pre law, & pre med, yet they commute at least once a week to stand in front of a barbershop, like it is a night club line, for at most an hour, until a man notices them enough to approach her and ask her for her number on his way in, or out of the barber shop. But when they saw this Stacy Keibler looking young woman stroll onto their territory, tossing her hair as she walked, they automatically assumed she was entering the nail shop right next door, which is why the allowed her to pass them. After she walked into the barbershop, however, needless to say, they were noticeably disgruntled. Before she walked in, out of the periphery of my eye, I saw a group of Black Men, previously all having separate conversations, simultaneously migrate from their chairs, and stampede towards the huge storefront window; like a heard of antelope about to hurdle over Mufasas dead corpse. Its snowing out here! - one man yelled with a smirk, obviously referring to the fact, the young woman was White. Ooooo the cutie got a little booty too, - another man generously exaggerated, scrunching up his eyes, mouth & face as he uttered the words cutie, booty and ooooo respectively. You know thats Gus old lady dont cha? - a barber warned, with a mischievous smirk. Gus is one of my acquaintances. The word friend or homie wouldnt be appropriate for me to use, as it implies Gus and I being like minded. Despite this mutually know nuance, Gus greeted me with the homie hug as he dapped up and showed love to every man in the shop, including me. He did this, not just as a greeting. Rather, he wanted to flaunt something to us. He was showing off his trophy that was holding onto his left hand with her right. His newly wed wife. I knew his wife before she even became his fiancee. I went on a double-date with her, Gus and a Brown Skinned Eritrean Beauty last summer, when the weather was warmer, and the snow wasnt exclusively occupying the forecast of Gus heart. She smiled at every man in the shop, while accompanying Gus on his homie-hug rodeo. But when she saw me, she said, A-braham! Omg how is your little cheesecake catering business going? My mother loved those Oreo Cheesecakes I ordered from you. And gave me a hug, as I sat in the barber chair. The stain of envy painted on the faces of every man in the shop, except Gus, resembled the color of the type of smoothie morbidly obese men drink, as they prepare for their summer body. Green. Their faces were green with envy, because this Caucasian goddess was giving me attention. In the Black Male community, there is a mental pedestal on which many men place White Women, as they view them considerably more desirable than Women of their OWN race. Gus, was not an exception to this rule, which is why he was parading his newly wed wife in an Black barber shop, in front of a group of thirsty wolves. Unbeknownst to me, this would be a forum for one of the most racially confrontational debates I have ever taken part of. Business is going well, I responded in a voice much deeper than her seemingly squealing-tone. I see youre not wearing a wedding band, she continued, visibly taken aback, why the hell are you still dating black women? I know a couple of my girls from the East who would love go to marry a great guy like you. You would expect the crowd of men to fall silent at the echoing of such a racially loaded question right? Well, if this is your expectation, youre under estimating the degree to which many Black Men worship the ground White Women walk on. Those idiots smiled and chuckled, practically giving her a pass for such a statement. I, on the other hand, wasnt as forgiving. Why the hell am I still dating Black Women? I quoted, mocking her ignorance with my tone. Because none of them would ever disrespect my race the way you just did. Shes just keeping it real, Gus smirked, so smugly, that I almost felt more disgusted with him than her. No disrespect A-braham, she explained, piggy-backing off of her husband. But Black Women do indeed disrespect your race all the time. Twerking? Please, and not to mention their constant sista-girl attitude. I swear, you would think theyre on their periods non-stop. Suddenly, I smiled, because I realized what was transpiring right before my brown eyes. This seemingly-bold woman was not disrespecting Black Women With her OWN words. She was being loyal to her mans words, albeit offense, to his own race. I had heard that non-stop period remark repeatedly from Gus, when he would complain about his childs mother, how she was so immature, so angry, so bipolar, and yet, he was the one who made the choice to sleep with her immature, angry, bipolar ass in the first place. Many Black Men talk down about Women of their OWN race to their girlfriends of other races, in a twisted effort to build those women up. And talk down about is putting it mildly. They will tell their girlfriends: Black Women never want to do fun things, like snorkeling with the dolphins and white-water rafting, because theyre too concerned with getting their nappy hair wet. Black Women always have something smart-ass to say, even when theyre wrong, because their insecurities make them feel they always have to defensively get the last word. Black Women are completely fake, hair, make-up, nails, ass, even when shes being nice, she is only doing that to hide her anger. Everything is an act with them. Black Women treat their man like shes his mama. They baby you, constantly correct you, then have the condescending nerve to ask why youre arent acting like a man. Black Women want to be the man, and wear the pants in the relationship. Black Women are extremely in domesticated. They cant cook, clean, wash clothes, and have no intention to make a house or cater to a man. Black Women always want to hit you with that sista attitude whenever you say something she disagrees with. Yet, when shes wrong about something, shes as quiet as a mouse, never willing to openly admit when shes wrong. Black Women are always mugging & frowning for no reason. They rarely, if ever, smile and she only smiles when shes really mad or upset about something, which is psycho. You know shes mad about something when shes smiling or laughing, with her evil ass. Black Men tell their White Girlfriend Latin Girlfriend Filipino Girlfriend Indian Girlfriend Samoan Girlfriend And any woman other then Black women these stereotypical insults of Black Women as a form of inception, in hopes to pump their heads up with a false sense of superiority. This self racist form of incept-psychology does not work on Strong Minded Women, no matter her race. Yet, it will work perfectly on any woman whos insecurity level is low enough that she would allow a man to slander any woman in front of her, regardless of that womans race. With this in mind, I directed my retort of his wifes ignorant assertion to Gus and her, simultaneously. Do you ever question how Gus can talk down so much about women of his own race, when his OWN mother is a Black Woman?, I asked her, rhetorically. How can you as a woman acquiesce to your husbands slandering of other women, no matter their race? And How can you talkshit about a Black Women and call yourself a real father bruh, you have children by Black women. Your OWN daughter is a Black Woman. They interrupted me while I was speaking, but I kept talking through their rebuttals. I love Black culture, she defended, I plan on giving birth to mixed Black babies with him. My husband is a strong, Black man. I love everything about his culture. Just because you choose to only date Black Men, I retorted, does not mean you love Black culture. No. You just love Blackdick. Be honest with yourself. I dont have to apologize for loving Black men, she defended, carefully transposing the word I used for men, to hide what was her true love. You just love who you love, race doesnt matter. If thats true, I responded calmly, and race indeed doesnt matter, why then do you question my reasons for choosing to still date Black Women? Because youre limiting yourself, A-braham, she replied, mispronouncing my name for the umpteenth time. There is so much more out there than what youre subjecting yourself to. I have a Filipino girlfriend who would be perfect for you. Shes more on your mental level, but if you choose to keep entertaining ghetto, ratchet, loud, mean, Homely-looking, weave-wearing, rude, classless women, with an attitude, you will be waiting a long time to be a husband. Statistics show Black Women are the lowest percentage of women who marry. I just dont want you to run an unwinnable race. Please stop calling me A-braham, its E-bruh-heem, I corrected, in the most polite way I could. The type of classless women you just described come in ALL races. Being uncouth is not exclusive to Black women. Nether are weaves. In fact, the usage of weaves & Extensions in this country has always been dominated by Caucasian women. And its not a bad thing if White women, or green women for that matter, choose to wear added hair, thats their choice. But please understand, not all Black women are the same, even with that said, the classless Black woman you just described is far few in between. Dont let reality tv fool you, nor dictate to you the cultural behaviors of a whole race of people, based purely off of staged television shows. Im not basing it off tv, she defended. The pack of hood rats huddled up outside is proof Im not being racist. Gus told me they come here everyday, fishing for a man like you. You and I both know, theres a reason none of those ratchets have yet to catch your eye. Its because you, like many men in your culture are too strong, intelligent and successful to ever give any of those girls the time of day. They claim they want a good man, yet have they ever had one? Do they know how to attract and keep one? No, because judging by their immature mentality and poor actions, they dont deserve a strong, black husband like mine. My mother is a Black Woman, you know, I replied. She raised me in Fillmore, just blocks away from here. Are you saying, because my mother grew up in a Black neighborhood, she doesnt deserve a strong Black husband? Of course not, she answered, extremely apologetically. I can tell your mother is an amazing Black woman, she raised and sculpted a king of a Black man. But it is her who deserves a Good Black man, not some ghetto, uneducated young woman, with no class, with no career, no degree and nothing to show for herself. Look, Im very sorry if you felt I indirectly disrespected your mother in any way. I would never disrespect anyones mother, especially a good Black mother, because I know how hard it is for them to raise a bunch of kids by herself. You know, those girls out there are somebodys mother, I enlightened her. Every Black woman you see is somebodys sister, somebodys daughter and somebodys mother and they all deserve respect. I understand that, Im so sorry if I offended you, she apologized. But I deserve respect as well. Why dont I deserve a strong black man? I never said you didnt, I corrected. Oh, Im sorry, she continued. I just assumed you were saying you had a problem with my dating your friend, because hes a Black man and I am a White woman. Well you assumed wrong, I corrected. I have Caucasian answered somewhere in my ancestry, so for me to feel that way would be ignorant and hypocritical. But for me to stop dating Black Women, as you suggested, would not only be ignorant, it would be a slap in the face to my own mother, who is a Black Woman. I wouldnt go as far as to say that, she replied. Gus mother loves me and she knows her son choose a woman who is not afraid to treat her son like a man. And respect him like one. Thats what you deserve. You dont deserve to be with a woman who isnt willing to change for you and be submissive for you sometimes. You have to ask yourself, is that what you are willing to settle for just because you want to marry a woman the same race as your mother. Is that why you think Gus married you? I asked her with a slight smile. Understand, this man loves you. But you have to ask yourself why have so many of the Black Men youve dated felt the need to base their love for you on slandering Black Women as a whole. Why is the best complement a Black Man can give you, you treat me like a man, while these sistas always want to control me and act like theyre my mother. That its self is no compliment. It is a compliment by default. Notice every thing these Black men who say they dont date Black Women love about White Women is an inverted contrast to a characteristic they as men feel women of their own race either lack or display poorly. So youre saying I only love my woman, because her character and personality is the opposite of many Black Women? Gus asked with a smirk, breaking his silence. No, thats what youre saying every time you, the father of a Black girl, say that you dont date Black Women, I answered. What I am saying is for a Black man to love a White Woman is a beautiful thing. But for any Man to say he doesnt date any woman of his own race, the same race as his mother, that is ignorant. Love has no color. How then can you say you choose not to love a woman just because of her color? Not only is that ignorant, thats a half truth. The truth is any Man who says they can not date any woman of their OWN race, because of her race, is really admitting he is a coward. Oooooo, many men in the shop responded. So youre calling my man a coward? She snapped in shock Absolutely, I responded in my normal deep tone of voice. In your own bible, It says Jesus said, a man will be easier received and welcomed in a forgiven land than in his OWN. The excellency of wisdom in this scripture highlights the ease one is acclimated into a foreign environment or culture compared to their own. As strict as a childs family is, rather that child be White, Black, Dominican, Indian, Greek or otherwise, that child knows a family outside of their culture will always treat them with and receive them with more ease, in regard to confronting their shortcomings or disciplining their misbehavior. Simply put, Men who say they dont date women of their own race say that, because they are too cowardly and weak minded to be in a relationship with a strong woman of their own race, who will tell him when he is wrong, call him on his B.S. and correct him. I live in an upscale apartment building in downtown San Francisco, right by the Bay Bridge, and nearly all of the White Men who live in my building are married to Asian women. Nearly all the Asian men who live in my building are dating Indian women. Im happy they found love. Love has no race. Yet, if these men choose to be with these women solely because of the color of their skin, and purely because the dont date women of their OWN race, they are not only cowards, they are falsifying their love for the women they are with. People who only date light skin people or only date dark skin people are ignorant. I have never seen a heart love more or love less, based on the skin color of the person the heart resides in. Lightskin does not mean prettier. Darkskin doesnt mean ugly. Lightskin doesnt mean one is stuck-up or SOFT. Darkskin doesnt mean one is humble or HARD. White doesnt mean shes slEASY or submissive. Black doesnt mean shes Ghetto or uneducated. Latin doesnt mean she has an Attitude or is crazy. Asian doesnt mean shes timid and weak minded. Filipino doesnt mean shes irrational or homicidal. Pretty doesnt mean shes Bipolar or cocky. When we limit ourselves or judge people based off race or the color of their skin, we allow ourself to miss out on the most compatible person for us. I learned as a man, we have to stop trying to CONTROL a strong minded women. In that same regard, we have to placing labels on women, as submissive or non-submissive. A weak woman & a submissive woman are not the same. Strong women are constantly misunderstood as crazy or annoying by weak males who arent man enough to handle her. Shes not crazy shes passionate. Shes not bipolar she just treats people differently, based off how THEY treat HER. Shes not talking back she just speaks her mind, despite what anyone feels or thinks about it. A strong minded woman will NEVER be submissive to a weak man. If she sees he cannot assume the Alpha role, she will walk all over him. A strong minded woman will happily submit herself mentally to a strong man who mentally DEMANDS her respect with his mentality, Who can respect her enough NOT to try & change her and who can assume the ALPHA role. The reason many men dont wife or cuff strong minded women, or say they dont date women of their own race is, because he subconsciously feels inferior to her intelligence. SHUT UP is a term weak men with limited vocabulary use to silence a woman who speaks her mind. We have to Man up our mentality. If she talks too much, Its because we as men are not doing enough. Taking control of a womans MIND with our conversation will render her SPEECHLESS. The reason strong minded women have a smart mouth & talk back Is not because shes masculine NO. She knows she can play a mans Alpha role better than him, With her intelligence. & can we as men STOP trying to CONTROL a strong woman? Some men say, but I need a woman to listen to me, not correct Me! treat me like a MAN dammit! First off all, how much a woman listens to us Is NOT a reflection of how much of a man we are. If a man feels that, he obviously has Very low self esteem. Second, by a man choosing ONLY Weak, submissive women who he KNOWS Will never challenge anything he says, It shows he is SCARED of a womans strength. If the only way a man is attracted or aroused by the Company of a woman is if she bows down to him, That is scary, and the early stages of Him being on the down low. Oh, trust me. You get off on power struggle huh? You like a woman to treat you like youre her daddy huh? Yeah, thats a weak man. A real STRONG man can humble himself to listen to his woman. A KING has no intention of trying to Change or CONTROL a queen, He WANTS his woman to be just as strong and outspoken as Him, with her OWN mind, because he knows, His womans strength is a reflection of his. Iron sharpens iron. As men, we have to allow our strong Woman to be the iron that sharpens our iron. As men, We must STOP choosing to cuff these weak women. A weak female can never compare to a Strong Minded Woman. A strong woman knows how to submit herself mentally. shes just waiting for a strong man to prove himself worthy who can assume control as the alpha. a weak man knows he isnt strong enough mentality to play the ALPHA male role. So he cuffs a weak woman so he will be the alpha by default. All men are not dogs. All men are not incapable of being monogamous . All men are not incapable of engaging in deep thought. The reason strong women constantly get their heart broken, by lying cheating men is, because those women are subconsciously attracted to something about that weak man who Lies & fronts, pretending to be sweet & caring & strong when those men are really weak. A strong woman must protect her self from heartbreak by never allowing a weak lying man to have her heart, just because he throws down in bed, or makes her feel beautiful, or because she is so physically attracted to him. Strong women innately have a womens intuition. All women can tell when they first meet a man if he is full of B.S., lying or playing a role. Some women simply choose to turn of her blinders just because she is feeling him & catching feelings. A strong woman never has to Dumb down her strength to attract a man. Her mental strength is like a magnet, It will repel weak metal minded men, And attract a strong ROCK of a man. I refuse to stop dating Black Women, because if I do, with those actions, I would be telling my mother shes not worthy of being chosen by the type of strong man she raised. I would be telling my future daughter shes not worth enduring challenges that a man may face in building a relationship with her. I would be disrespecting The Holy Spirit, who choose women to give life and who choose life to originate on African soil. Every human originated from the womb of an African woman, and for me to choose not to date any of them, because of their skin color, would be disrespect to the ONE who created me. Besides, Im not afraid of a strong minded woman. I prefer a woman with a smart mouth and a little attitude. I filled my cheeks up with air, so my barber could finish shaving my beard. Once he finished lining me up, Grabbed my phone, Navigated to my Notes app And begin Typing up as much of the conversation as I could remember. By: Ebrahim Aseem #keepITrealThursdays realnewspaper.wordpress/2014/03/06/why-the-hell-am-i-still-dating-black-women/
Posted on: Fri, 07 Mar 2014 04:22:19 +0000