With the standard of what running a successful home should look like being unobtainable. Or an advertisement states effortless cleanliness is the norm into every day living, how flawlessly easy each scene is in a movie every morning/day/dinner with a family should be. I would like to take this Martha Stewart image and show them what a normal day consists of. 6:15 AM, oh my god really?!?! Already?!?!? I try to get the kids ready for school from the warm safety of my bed, my comforter is littered in unfolded socks and underwear that are on the fold me to do list...from last March. The cat stares feed me directly into my eyes. 6:45 curse, ridicule, berate, and throw various pillows (the only reason why we women keep 100 of them on the bed) at the alarm clock. My aim is never good enough to turn the blasted thing off. 7:00 flop myself out of bed, then back under the comforter mentally dressing myself. 7:01 Oh. My. God. I hear the bus. Holy Shit did the little one just ask where his pants were?!?! Fly down stairs and herd the children out the door, with or without pants. Dress in the driveway damn it. 7:05 they make it one the bus, leaving behind a trail of destruction in the driveway, mittens, jackets, lunches, a left shoe. 7:10 pour fresh coffee, set it down, forget it ever existed and start doing the dried remains from last nights lasagna. Break two nails scraping a cheese Darien van Gogh original off glassware...really?!?!?! Glassware?!?!? The cat tries to trip you directly into his empty food bowl. By 7:30 and raising my hands up to the Lord twice asking how the hell two children can use every mother effing dish invented for breakfast, wait did they eat breakfast? The must have we had fish last night, not spaghetti, my dishes still have spots, but nothing gloppy is hiding in the bottom, their good to go. 7:31 Drink straight from the faucet, why? Because you never ever ever want to see Palmolive again. 7:32 remember the goodness of coffee, reheat and forget. 7:35 throw last night laundry in the dryer, last night? Two nights ago? Meh, theres no mold, and the eldest child taught the youngest what commando means this morning, so this load is going in the dryer. AT 7:40 you remember you have a job, career, place that pays the bills, and in a blind rush pull on pants while applying mascara, a crinkled straight from the bed shirt while brushing your teeth three times (once for yourself, and two more times for the children that your sure went to school forgoing this activity.) You forget to shower, youre lucky you remembered deodorant, and to brush your hair before tying it back. Hit the one minute button on the microwave twice trying in vain to save that mornings cup of Joe. Dump and entire bag of food into a teenie tiny dish hoping to everything Holy that will shut up the now howling cat. You know it wont help, by the time you get home there will be a cat vomit horror spewed all over the ten million Legos that your children cannot live without. By chance glance at that days calendar and realize you will not be able to Cal-gone take me away or even lather, rinse repeat, to your hearts content until May 2055. You are out the door, kicking left over remnants of your childrens morning out of the way, putting a frozen cup of coffee on the hood, running back in the house only three times today because you forgot your phone, purse, and sanity. Ignore the fact that a mile down the road you forgot to lock the front door, eh whatever maybe a cleaning burglar will break in and vacuum all the fruit-loops up from under the kitchen table, couch, end tables, and bathroom floor. You talk yourself asking why there is cereal in the bathtub. You really dont want to know the answer. Just a glimpse as to what it took me to get to work today is what the American Reality of life is...and I want you to know that it is okay, we are each bred into chaos, flaws, dishes in the sink, unfolded towels on the floor, and scattered Legos cascading the stairs is what a house looks like, what a normal house looks like. Take that Better Homes and Gardens. Show me what the typical American family looks like after a marriage, kids, a dog, and life takes a hold! Advertise this!
Posted on: Tue, 09 Dec 2014 15:34:54 +0000
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015