i say and do things that bring both praise and criticism... one of the lessons i have learned in my life (mostly because of being so much in the public eye) is that what people think and say about me is more a reflection of the person than of me-- even the positive things! (If i took on even all the positive reflections, i would be one warped person for sure!) What we all respond to-- myself included-- are our own thoughts, experiences, and feelings about what someone is saying and/or doing. When we love someone, we tend to be more generous with our words and actions. When we are triggered by someone, we tend to be more harsh, judgmental, and critical. Either way, our reactions and responses are sourced from within ourselves and our own experiences and feelings. The tattoo on my wrist says, To Thine Own Self Be True. As a human being, i have made and will continue to make many mistakes, but i want to make mistakes following my experience and search of truth vs. other peoples thoughts and feelings about what i should or should not be thinking, saying, and doing. i am overly sensitive. i am rough around the edges. i am opinionated and forceful. i am stubborn and strong-willed. i am ridiculously goofy and silly. i am often times highly inappropriate and other times, so thoughtful and able to be present and soft. i am my own worst critic. All the mean things flung at me over the last 17 years dont even come close to the way i beat myself up. The minute i feel a box happening, i tend to overreact and act crazy just to mess up the confines and constrictions i feel in those places. i am a paradox-- even to myself... i have been with me for 40 years, and i am still challenged with knowing who i am, and what that even means. SO why am i posting this? Because i am committed to radical authenticity and freedom in a time and world where to do so publicly opens us all up for so much projection. Is it important to be mindful of other peoples feelings? Of course it is. We share this one home together. But i will not live my life trying to manage other peoples stuff. i will continue to do the work on myself to become the best person i can be, and knowing me, that means i will keep changing quite a bit. However, of all the things i am committed to... being true to myself (even as that ever-changes) is the compass by which i guide my life and return to when i get lost occasionally along the way.
Posted on: Sun, 25 May 2014 22:12:44 +0000
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