(this is a short story) Minnie gets her way. Stanley went out to wash the car on a sunny Saturday morning. He stood in front of the vehicle and tried to look forward to this. He used to like washing his car and wanted that feeling back again. Stanley pulled out his car washing tools and polishes in that handy little cart Minnie and the kids gave him for fathers day. They knew how much he loved washing his old Volkswagen Cabriolet. Some thought that to be exclusively a girls car something they would have gotten for their sweet 16th or something but Stanley had done such a great job with the paint and rims -dull army green with black rims took the feminine right out of it- he still missed it, even ...more ...today as he stood in front of his new minivan. Minnie and Stanley had gone a kid and a half without getting one. It wasnt because Minnie didnt try though. Stanley just always found a way to avoid the subject, or never get around to going to look at one. Minnie knew that Stanley would get a minivan if she really pushed him for it, so when Minnie needed brakes and Stanley needed a new radiator, they traded them both their cars in and bought the minivan. Stanley didnt even really try or negotiate when buying. Whatever Minnie wanted, the colour or extras didnt seem to matter. Is was like he was buying insurance, something he had to do even though he didnt want to. “Stanley, youre acting like a sulking baby” Minnie said on the drive home from the dealership. “I just feel like Ive lost something, I know it sounds stupid, but its like a piece of me went away” “Stanley, its not about you, its about the family. Dont be one of those husbands.” The car washing kit included a long brush so that he could scrub the top of the minivan. As Stanley washed the top he realized the canoe could easily fit up there! Going camping was about to get a lot easier...all that stuff they never bring could now fit... the cooler AND the stroller in the trunk! “Screw the neighbours, if there still asleep...too bad” he said as he went to the garage and turned up the music. Stanley looked at the headlights and thought that he had seen tinted headlight covers on a model like his...with those rain reflectors...Stanley kept wondering -where did they get those? He could put those aluminium 6 star ones with wide low profile tires They would look awesome! He was definitely going to do that. There were actually so many things he could do to make this the most awesome minivan around. Aftermarket DVD player, maybe tablet holders...he wondered if he could get WIFI in the van...he liked saying van...Stanley decided he would no longer think of it as a minivan, just his Van.... This made him think of the “A-Team”...and then that made him think of “Night Rider” and Kit for some reason...and then he wondered if someone would ever make show where the lead character drove a cool minivan. Larry, the rarely seen dickhead ex husband of his neighbour Janice, pulled up next door to take his kids for the weekend. He walked over to Stanley “Stan! What the hell? A minivan?” “Larry, I was wrong. This is the greatest vehicle ever designed!” said Stanley. “I see that Minnie got you to drink the kool aid! Stan, you may laugh because I take both my kids around in a sporty mercedes...but I only have them a couple of times a month. The rest of the time that car is filled with hot girls...and yes I know its because of the car!..greatest car in the world or not, I will NEVER do that! It screams Im whipped and unavailable!” “But I am unavailable” said Stanley. “Youre the one with no wife! I dont know why I didnt want one of these. I mean really, who gives a shit what car I drive?” “Clearly, you dont.” said Larry. “I admit it, Minnie was right. We can actually fit everyone and everything in the car. Our entire life is easier because of this one thing and I feel like an idiot for going so long without it.” “Stanley, I wish you and your mommyvan a good weekend, dont forget to get the stupid stickman family on the back window, and maybe a vanity plate that says Neutered!” laughed Larry. “very funny, but I did order a vanity plate.” said Stanley. “of course you did!” “look you cant say anything, because I havent told her, but I got a plate that says Minniesvan!” “Thats.....anyway, I have to get my kids. Maybe you and I can catch up one day over a beer...or at the mall if youre looking for help buying a purse for yourself” Laughed Larry. What a loser thought Stanley -even as he admitted to himself that the last joke was funny. Stanley felt guilty for not getting the minivan earlier, like he was putting his image in front of his family and their needs. What image? He thought. He was a happily married man with a son and a daughter. He loved them all more than anything. Even that silly little purse dog had grown on him, though it was like owning a squirrel....and he could walk him with some floss....and the stupid clothes his kids make the dog wear. He loved it all. This was who he was, and he wouldnt trade any of it for an image of someone he wasnt. “hey, Larry! By the way this van has tons of room for all the stuff I usually get at home depot. You can get a full sheet of plywood in the back! I just have to take the seats out before I go and it all stays dry, not like the pickup I had!” “you tell yourself whatever you need to” laughed Larry. Stanley didnt know why he wanted people to appreciate his vehicle...or why he was trying to prove anything...or even what he was trying to prove. Later that Day Minnie brought Spencer along with her and Katie. After Katies soccer practice they went to Walmart to get some diapers and a gift for a birthday party. After her shopping she noticed Spencer and Katie had fallen asleep on the drive home. Spencer almost never took naps and Katie must have been exhausted because this seemed to never happen. Minnie hadnt slept well since about a month before Katie was born five years ago, so she took a breath and enjoyed the silence her life seemed to never get. She then realized that she was listening to a CD that had children singing songs. “my God” she said to herself “this has been playing for a month, over and over and over...” It had become the soundtrack to her life. She scanned the stations and came across some early Red Hot Chilli Peppers. She reached to turn up the volume but caught herself before she did it, saving herself from not only waking them, but waking them with inappropriate lyrics. She wanted to roll down the window and let some summer breeze into the car, but needed to keep it cool with the A/C for her kids and of course for Pluto, her dog. The name Pluto wasnt her choice but they were stuck in a Disney window of life, her kids and husband often buying her themed Minnie Mouse things -a character she once loved as a child but now only pretends to love for her children-. Minnie mouse seat covers and steering wheel cover. She never thought Stanley would drive around with these seat covers, and secretly counted on him to be more of a man. She had even planned the conversation in her head and knew she would let him say no to the seat covers. Instead he installed them for her and drives around the town like this. Who does that? Isnt he embarrassed? Was he always so lame? She thought. Minnie noticed beside her at the light there was a cute girl in a convertible Mini Cooper. She could hear the music coming from her car and noticed two guys in another car trying to get the girls attention. Minnie looked in the rear-view mirror to see if the kids were still asleep. Then she looked at herself in the mirror. She thought she looked good. She remembered what it was like to be the girl in the Mini Cooper, though. She edged forward in the minivan so that the guys could see her also....but they didnt. Then one did, but he just glanced at her and almost looked through her. Minnie looked at herself again. What happened to me? Did I change that much? What happened? Im driving a minivan in the suburbs..ing from soccer...soccer Mom...with a trunk full of diapers from Walmart...listening to kids music..how did this happen? She couldnt believe this was her life. She loved her kids more than anything, and although Stanley was a good guy, she hated picturing him driving this stupid minivan with the stupid seat covers and stupid steering wheel cover...Why did he let us get this thing? I want to be a person again, someone with a real identity, someone people notice! Minnie wondered how she could turn this against Stanley. She thought of a few ways to complain about the vehicle being too big, or the gas costing too much, or anything that somehow placed the blame off of her. On her drive home she decided that no matter what, she would find a way to not only get Stanley to admit he screwed up somehow, but also force him to get another car for her. She was going to get a Mini! She smiled...Minnie in her Mini, shed feel alive again! And no matter what, no matter how perfect it would be, she knew she would never get a vanity plate for her Mini, because that would be so lame. Fin.
Posted on: Mon, 24 Nov 2014 14:47:09 +0000
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