I close my eyes and I can still remember it… the stench of cocaine being cooked up in the kitchen, the rumble of pit bulls fighting on the back porch, the endless thunder of unknown voices in the dining room, screaming over a game of cards… each of them with a pistol just a few inches from their hand. I remember locking myself up in the bathroom for hours on end with nothing more than a radio, a pen and piece of paper, trying to get comfortable between the urine covered floor and feces in the tub. I blocked out the smells, the sounds... and just fall away into a world of music. It was there I felt free. Free from the decisions I had made and the hell I had surrounded myself with. I sat there day and night, scribbling out lyrics to what became my very first songs, dreaming… that one day I would get a record deal and finally leave all this hell behind me. Starving Artist is what they said I would be, just another coked up homeless junkie chasing an aimless dream. But what I felt in my heart, what I saw in my mind, was more than any dream, so I became vicious and relentless in its pursuit. Nearly fifteen years passed, and that passion never wavered, not even once. Fifteen years of dead end jobs, friends mocking, relatives judging, the thought of being a failure weighing on my shoulders… but still in my heart I knew that only death would stop me from walking this path I started. Then finally I got that record deal. At first it was the greatest high in the world, a feeling of absolute release, that after all these years of fighting, struggling, working to no avail, I finally made it. I was happy. But as with everything in life, that happiness wore off and everyday reality set back in. I looked around me... the house of my dreams, award ceremonies, celebrities, parties, the highest rung on the ladder… all of it empty. Thats all I could feel, empty. For so long I had dreamed of this moment, almost an entire lifetime, and suddenly that dream was as much of a prison as the crack house bathroom I started in. All I ever wanted was to shine. To pour out my heart into song and it light up a path for those who had been where I had been. Somehow I thought being a star would bring that shine… Then I stumbled across a verse in Daniel chapter 12, it said; Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness like the starts forever and ever. I had traded wisdom for a mirage and realized that no amount of fame or success would ever give me what I had fought for all those years. The celebrity friends, award ceremonies, exquisite parties... each of us painting ourselves up on the outside to cover the emptiness that was swelling within. I knew was made for so much more, so I made a decision... to walk away from it all. To once again step out into the unknown, leave it all behind, with nothing more than a song in my heart and a little bit of faith that God would somehow lay out a path beneath my feet. This was that song. The song that would become the key to the last chains I would ever wear. And so today I stand, an independent artist, with no deal, no chains, no expectations and no fear. Only that same viscous, relentless drive to shine. Knowing that no amount of fame or success will bring that shine. But to stand as an Underground Rebel against the music industry and say out loud, it is God who brought me this far, it is God that gave me this talent, and only God who can take it away. I dont want the fame, I dont want the money… I just want someone somewhere, in their lowest moment, find hope through one song… so I can shine like the stars forever and ever. #UrTurn2Shine #CruceSignati #Rebels * * * * * * * CRUCIFIX - Steal My Shine Written by Crucifix Produced by Sean Divine ©2014 Cruce Signati HOOK One day Im gon finally be Everything that I ever dreamed. So let the world try and hold me back. I keep my head up at the stars and hustle until I get there. Cuz nothing in life, nobody in life Is gonna steal my shine. Nothings gonna steal my shine. VERSE 1 Since I left the womb I was destined for greatness. But never thought the road to greatness would be painless. Yeah I feel success when the world knows what my name is, but being great is so much more than just being famous. Now Im living in this dream but the passions gone, its like living in a mansion when the lights aint on. I used to think Id have it all once I reached my dreams but now Im standing in the grass and it aint quite as green. Cuz everything I ever wanted is a breath away but all of it could fade in a single day. So whats the fame? Im over that. Cuz sooner or later every mans fame fades to black. So I look to the sky, think about the purpose that could pass me by. Livin everyday like Im never gon die. If I aint wise then what the hell am I? I think about the pain that Ive been through and if I could go back then I would do it. Cuz I know all the pain is for nothing if praying for something to keep me from suffering is only gonna be another reason I aint gon shine. VERSE 2 Spotlight overdose. Ask yourself what it is you want the most... A minute in this game, chasing all the fame? Hiding all your pain just so people know your name? Then all the sudden that fame is gone and your shine is dead like a forgotten song. When the fans dont scream and your phone dont ring, and youve sold your soul to a devil in a suit for a deal and an empty dream. What you got left but just a memory of what you used to be? If lifes a breath then let it echo through eternity! Pour out my pain and suffering, write out my broken heart. A song for every scar like every scars a gift from God. I want to shine light that aint never gonna fade when the stage goes black. When everything I love makes pain my past, and I can be the reason that I never look back. I think about the dirt that Ive been through, and all the good in my life that I did do. So Im living for the moment, never think about the struggle. I dont ever wanna give another minute to a record label stealing my shine. HOOK
Posted on: Sun, 10 Aug 2014 00:42:05 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015