I have finnaly figured out that im can make anyone happy all day and night but it will never matter if i cant be happy for myself so im finding deep down inside what it is that has made me not care about me being happy and im gonna do what it takes to find it and fix it and let it go without anyone doing it for me and im gonna take care of what i need legally and get it done and over with sobu can put it behind me and move forward im gonna do this MY WAY NOT ANYONE ELSE SO THAT WHEN ITS DONE I CAN SAY I DID IT MY WAY AND NOT URS i am 21 now and when i went and seen some old friends and seen my son edward since the choices i have made has caused me not to be able to see my oldest boy which i regret i did the same thing my dad dud when it got hard i fave up but i do got one thing to say before my father passed my he reat in peace he was turning his life arpund it mat of not been as soon as everyone wanted him to but i am glad to say the people who pushed him to focuse on him amd me some are gone now and some still live on both sides of my nana (MARIE BERGENSTOCK) i am glad to say these people r the reason before my father died he was taking another look amd makeing that turn around in his life and focusing his life on me before he tried to stary another relationship and these people are Bo Dinsmore Wayne Dinsmore Connie Dinsmore Sarah Archer billy archer Shadara Archer Karah Elkins Terry Griffis joe Joe Henry and my grandpa jim and chris faust and my nana Marie Bergenstock and my papa Ron bergenstock and his kids and family and tge best UNCLE I EVER HAD JOE AMES WHO I WISH I HAD LISTENED TO AND DIDNT BLIW OFF EVERYONES ADVICE ESPECIALLY HIS and my favorite cousin Herbie Ames who has supported me along with Mike Weber and his wife and most importantly i know some one will show this to my (NANA MARIE AND HOPE THEY DO) "I AM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE THAT WAS WRONG AND EVERYTHING WRONG I SAID AND DID TO U U WAS THERE WHEN MY FATHER DIED WHICH IS UR SON AND I KNOW UT WAS HARD FOR U AND WAS HARD FOR ME BUT THAT DID NOT GIVE ME AN EXCUSE TO TREAT U OR DO YOU WRONG LIKE I DID AND I REGRET IT AND I CANT CHANGE WHAT I DID TO YOU OR PAPA ALL I CAN DO IS SHOW U I LEARNED FROM THOSE MISTAKES AND TURNED MY LIFE AROUND AND GROWN UP I CAN NEVER SAY SORRY ENOUGH EVER BUT I CAN SHOW U I AM DIFFERENT THAN THEN AND WISH I COULD GO BACK EVERY WAKING MINUTE AND CHANGE EVERYTHING WRONG I DID FROM THE TIME MY DAD DIED TO NOW BUT I CANT ITS DONE AND IN THE PAST AND I AM MAN ENOUGH TODAY TO REALIZE I SHOULD HAVE NEVER TRIED TO HOLD IN MY ANGER ABOUT MY FATHER FOR THE THREE YEARS I DID I WAS BEING A REBEL LIKE MY FATHER U KNOW HE WAS WHO I LOOKED UP TO BESIDES CHRIS AND JOE AND NOW THAT EVERYONE IS SLOWLY LEAVING THIS EARTH ON ME I HAVE REALIZED LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO AND I REALIZED THE PEOPLE THAT HAS LEFT SO FAR R THE ONE THAT EVEN WHEN THEY WAS NOT WELL ENOUGH TO HELP ME THEY DID WHEN THEY SHOULDNT HAVE LIKE U AMD GRANDPA JIM AMD MY MOTHER Jenyce Walker-Young EVEN THOUGH TO YALL SJE DIDNT BUT AFTER I TURNED EIGHTEEN AND WANTED HELP AND NEEDED TO GET AWAY MY MON SEMT ME A BUS TICKET AND YALL PAID FOR MINE THIS LAST TIME AND I THANK YALL KOW THIS. TIME IM HERE I GOT MY OWN WAY. AND WHEN I CAME DOWN I TRIED TO COME BY NO ONE ANSWERED BUT I FOUND MY WAY BACK ON MY OWN WITH A FRIENDS HELP AND I HAVE BEEN HERE FOR SIX MONTHS AND I HAVE BEEN. CLEAN AND GOT ME UP ON MY OWN FEET AND I HAVE GOTTEN ME A HORSE AND A HOUSE WITH MY MOM WE R FIXING UP AND IM PROUD TO SAY FOR THE FIRST TIME I HAVE SEEN A CHANGE IN ME TO THE POINT THAT I AM STARTING TO SEE THE JAMES AMES JR. THAT EVERYONE KNEW AND LOVED BEFORE I BECAME A REBEL CHILD AND DIDNT CARE NOW I AM DOING THIS TO SHOW EVERYONE I AM ME AGAIN ALL THOUGH I AM NOT FULLY ME YET CAUSE OF SOME ISSUES I NEED TO FIND I AM SLOWLY BECOMING MY NORMAL SELF AND CANT WAIT TO PROVE TO EVERYONE I AM JAMES AMES JR THAT I WAS BEFORE MY FATHER DIED AND ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS IM SORRY AND I CNT NEVER SAY IT ENOUGH OR TAKE IT BACK BUT ALLBI ASK FROM YPU NANA IS YOUR FORGIVENESS OF WHAT I HAVE DONE I HAVE FINNALY FORGIVEN MY SELF BUT WILL U FORGIVE ME? I LOVE ALL OF YALL WHO HAVE SUPPORTED ME NO MATGER WETHER I WAS WRONG OR RIGHT AND STOOD THERE BESIDE ME NOT IN FRONT OR BEHIND BUT BESIDE ME TRYING TO GUIDE ME RIGHT AND ONE MOST OF ALL I WANNA THANK WHO IS TRYING TO GIVE ME AN OPPORTUNITY IF IT COMES AVAILABLE IS MY BIG BROTHER Christopher Love I LOVE U BUBBA........ I HAVE MADE Y CHOUCE AND I GONNA. FIND WHATS MAKES ME NOT HAPPY AND FIX IT AND FORGIVE MY SELF AND LET IT GO AND PUT IT BEHIND ME SO I CAN MAKE MY STEPS FORWARD IN LIFE IM TIRED OF ALWAYS FALLING BACK DOWN AND IM TIRED OF ASKING FOR HELP WHEN I ALWAYS FALL BACK DOWN THIS TIME IM GONNA MAKE IT THROUGH THIS HELL AND HOLD MY HEAD UP HIGH NO MATTER WHAT OBSTICAL IS IN MY WAY I WILL FACE IT AND IVER COME IT AND THIS IS NOT JUST A PROMISE THIS IS A GAURANTEE I WILL DO THIS IM NOT TRYING TO OVERCOME ANYMORE IM TO THE POINT NOTHING IS GOING TO STOP ME FROM SUCCEDING IN MY GOALS AND BEING A WONDERFUL MAN I WAS RAISED TO BE SINCERLY LOVE, YOURS TRUELY, JAMES AMES JR $ONE LIFE, ONE CHANCE, ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME$
Posted on: Wed, 18 Sep 2013 23:09:23 +0000
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