I have not had any contact with my 3 children in 12 years well - TopicsExpress



          

I have not had any contact with my 3 children in 12 years well there not even children now.I did go though all the courts for 2 years and finally got right of access but the lies and twisting of facts by my Ex and her family (I have to admit at this point I f_cked up big time to giving them all the fuel they needed) and so my children refuse to see me. I knew right at that moment I would never see them again which tore my heart out. The pain was unbearable and my emotions where totally out of control resulting in me taking an overdose (some will understand that and some will not) but I guess that day someone was looking out for me as I woke the next day with no ill effects which has always puzzled me how come? Anyway until recently I always had some hope when they grow up they may see things in a different light and what to know me, but thats not been the case. So I gave up hope and you may think there is know way you would ever do that if you love them. However life doesnt always run the path we expect it to and for 10 years I have had a new family to consider but because I held out hope to see my own children it effected how I was with my step-children. Who of course being teenagers now let me know this. So I had to decided where my prioritys lied, and of course it has to be with the family you have. So I took the few little moments that I had of my children put them in a box and went to one of my favourite places and buried it... buried my hope. Since doing that although I feel part of me has died I copy with life much better. Christmas was always hard and I often had deep depression but for the first time in so many years I had a fantastic enjoyable Christmas with the family I have now and Im now closer to my step-children infact they now feel like my own flash n blood. The passionate hate I felt for my Ex has gone to I even sent her by best wishes I will no doubt get a load of abuse back but I dont care.So does this mean I no longer wish to see my kids again? No of course not let me put it like this I was standing waiting in the doorway of hope but now I have left the doorway to get on with my life but I havent closed the door
Posted on: Fri, 18 Jul 2014 08:06:01 +0000

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