I need to take this time to clarify exactly what my motives and hopes are as well as concerns since videos Ive posted in relation to recovery have far exceeded my expectations of them(which i deeply appreciate all the support and thank each of you for the love). Heres the scoop though. My name is Tommy im 30 yrs old and am on my second attempt at recovery. 5 months ago today i did my last pack of dope n checked intp rehab 24 hrs later. This was after giving up not only over a year of total abstinence, but destroying my career i found in sobriety and completely ruining a relationship i invested all i had in me(which wasnt much since i stopped workin a program after 6months). I hurt everyone i loved n went on a binge for a few months n turned my back on the very same program that had once saved my life n made all those wonderful promises possible. I never gave back and barely put a dollar in the basket. Im only giving this background to clarify the points im trying to make. When i got clean this time i was completely humiliated in all ways. I wanted so badly to give back the only way i kneq how was to write music that people like me could relate to. Something they could say is their theme song to keep them strong on weak days n moments. I must admit the first one i wrote was in treatment n it gave me a sense of purpose for my gift. To see the darkness leave peoples eyes and watch them light up ear to ear. But in order for that message to be backed by action i need/want/have to work a program in my life that keeps me humble and honest. So that being said, I only have a basic understanding and application of the 12 steps and am trying to fix me. Goal number 1. There is nothing special about me, i am not a guru of recovery, and though honestly my ego liked/likes alot of the attention, I have to remain humble and ask that you respect boundaries because of that. I am not qualified to answer questions on how to help anyone but myself, what i will say is this. If you had your choice between findin a support group in your area or going to a 5 month clean tattooed guy who raps for advise on life or death situations, ask yourself honestly, what would be the motives for choosing the later of those two. I make music to inspire, not to become a self appointed dr or therapist and would do you more harm than good to offer my very unqualified opinion. The growth i speak of in my music has come from asking for help from qualified professionals and people with years of quality recovery. If you want what i have then you may want to try that route. I love hearing that my music touched someone n gave them hope, 99% of you have been respectful and supportive with prayers love n compassion. A few of you have taken what is meant to be motivational music for sick n suffering people n forgot that this is a life and death message, not a hook up page. If i was messagin or commenting some of the stuff written to me on a girls page id be labled a creepy stalker. So please respect that families, including my own, read n watch this stuff, and when they see that kind of behavior its insulting especially is they lost someone to this disease n see others using it as an ice breaker to hook up. When i get 75 messages pic comments and my inbox full of long messages about how you are struggling, maybe its cuz you are on fb n not at a meeting or reading your literature or with your sponsor. Im not being rude just offering the same tough love that was given to me to get motivated to fix my life. This is a we program but drowning people cant teach each other to swim. I am learning to swim and if you do the same then WE CAN BEAT ADDICTION. but if you are giving up all hope on yourself and thinkin i or anyone can help you without you even tryin yourself, and i mean really trying not just sayin u tried then giving up cuz immediate gratification didnt follow. I look forward to moving in the same direction as those who are equally if not far more motivated to change their lives and appreciate these new found friends. If i continue to see umhealthy behavior displayed in my pics or inbox i will be forced to remove you from here for the safety of my friends and family. Keep it classy so others arent detoured from this movement as i will attempt to keep my lyrics clean(within reason) however i will speak my mind in whatever fashion feels appropiate for the song. And finally for those whove actually taken then time to read this, if you message me and can see its trending you dont need to inbox me with insults acting like im supposed to just sit by fb all day responding to your every beck n call. I have a full time job and full time recovery n make music in my free time to keep from going crazy. If its a serious enough issue unless we know each other already, you should get genuine help. I dont want u or someone u care about getting hurt if i dont answer on time or with healthy advice. Love you guys, please dont be upset i wrote a novel but these things needed to be addressed. Love Tommy
Posted on: Thu, 25 Sep 2014 02:31:33 +0000
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