I posted this a while ago speaking about this big struggle Im going through in my life, but it was in Portuguese, so it probably didnt reach out to everybody, Ill post it again in english, not because I want people to feel bad for me or anything , mostly I dont want anybody to get caught in the same situation I saw myself into. I finally gathered the courage to talk about a subject that I dont think recieves enough attention; it is more common than youd think, most of that time taken for granted, being more serious than people believe it is, and misunderstood by most people: bulimia. Because its misunderstood, many people with bulimia maynnot even know they have it (I was one of them, only 7 years after displaying the first symptoms I realized that in fact I had bulimia-nervosa) Its not about a lifestyle, its a mental illness (caused probably by some trauma ( I used to be that is dangerous and NEEDS to be treated with medical help. Bulimia, usually is associated with emotional unbalance , like low self esteem, and also depression. Bulimia its not a behavior, its in the head, its constant battle against the scale, life is controlled by those numbers on the scale and everything you do is based on that, your emotions and happines and sadness are based on how well your clothes fit you. From what Ive been readingThe bulimic usually has several attacks of binge eating, followed by compensatory behavior , those can be : *vomiting *laxatives abuse *diuretic abuse *exercise Excessively Anyone that knows me a little bit knows that Ill do what it takes to be training every second I can , thats how it all started. A little bit after being introduced to the martial arts and starting going to the gym, I had the worst diet in the world and Id be exercising insanely. Though not being healthy at all, things were not so desperate still, I was far from the bottom of the bulimia hell Id find myself a few years from that point.Hell started one day after one episode of binge eating I fooled myself into believing laxarives would take all of what Ive eaten away from me without making me fat. A one day thing started becoming a habit, until I realized that I was actually using them every single day just because. Some days accompanied by diuretics because I wanted to weight less, Id rather be dehydrated and weight less, because the number on the scale was so high according to my unbalanced mind, I didnt want people to see me as big as the scale accused me. More than once I woke up and I was unable to get up, because I was dehydrated amd lacking potassium and sodium, I almost passed out on the street once as well, thats how dangerous it can be, not to mention the internal damage to my organs. Ive recently woke up to this reality and decided to fight it. Id like to leave a message and a plea for women that ever think about taking this path : DONT If youre unsatisfied with your body, try and figure out what youre unsatisfied with, maybe youre just imagining things and youre already gorgeous, but if you REALLY want to change, always pick the healthiest way! Another plea : think a thousand times before making mean comments about a womans ( a man also , but women are way more sensitive) body or appearance, society today have such strict beauty standard that makes being an average woman very hard. I posted this originally sep 9th, Im completely off the laxatives now , it was so uncomfortable at first but things are normal now, which is a relief, but Im still working out insanely and crazy about my weight( which increased impressively)! Have plans to treat it with therapy though :)
Posted on: Sun, 12 Oct 2014 00:37:53 +0000
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