I was watching Eastenders earlier (spare me the usual why do you watch that rubbish, thats just for idiots and youll be brainwashed diatribe. Have you seen any of my posts? Stupid, brainwashed? Me, really?). Anyway, I love pulling things to bits. In Eastenders, nearly everyone is white and English. Go to Hackney and see how true that is. The pub isnt boarded up, a block of flats, or a tapas bar run by Spanish speakers. But just to focus on the minutia... Ive already laughed and shaken my head a few times at Max Brannings car lot. David Wickes apparently invested a quarter of a mil in a car lot that has room for three cars and Max has just employed Stacey because hes so snowed under with work, he needs help running it. If Max ever finds a plot with room for six cars, watch out Alan Sugar. But to get even smaller in my pickiness. Phils arches for car repairs (Im laughing as I think about it), has room for one car and in his one car repair shop, until recently he employed three mechanics. To pay three wages and make himself so apparently well off, he must charge a shedload of money to change a spark plug. Change the break pads, sir? Certainly. That will be three thousand pounds please... But better still, and what set me off, take a look next time the cameras roll in the arches, or the really tiny arch, and you will notice that, along with a couple of independent switches, there is a bank of twelve light switches. Twelve light switches for a workplace that is no bigger than the front room Im sitting in. Bugger me. When Phil is doing an oil change, his tiny arch must look like a rerun of Close Encounters when the space ship turns up. Oh, and while Im picking holes - as I always do. Anyone notice that above the pub, which appears to have two bedrooms (the second only added recently), a kitchen and a living room, hoards of people are living? No toilet or bathroom, just four rooms. Living there until recently were the landlord and wife, two sons, a daughter, grandad, gay sister and Shirley. There are no other stairs, no other rooms, no level above, so where do they all go at night? And, and, and, in the Bianca household, that house must be like the Tardis, bigger on the inside. Living there, Bianca and her three kids, her boyfriend and his two kids, Whitney, Biancas mum and her bloke and the nan. Dont know why theyre always skint. Surely they could rent out the other 20 mythical rooms to lodgers... Oh, and when Sharon was waiting in the pub tonight for Phil, it was broad daylight, but seconds later, Phil storms into his arch and its pitch dark. This happens all the time. They all also go clubbing in the afternoon, apparently, and have a choice between the VIC and the Albert. Yeah, I know. I need to get a life... ;)
Posted on: Tue, 09 Sep 2014 23:11:25 +0000
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