I write about, and post, a mix of things on this page - its my cosy cafe after a shoot, where we drink tea, laugh, and set the world to rights about our children, our families, our lives - its not all about the camera, just like life (even mine!). Its absolutely not somewhere for speculation about sad news for another family, even a celebrity we all feel is part of our family. However this morning depression has been high on the public agenda, and something has struck me about what Im reading, because some of it jars with my experience of depression (yup, me too, including post-natally) and with so many likers odds are one of you is feeling a bit lost today, so if I only reach you, then Ive done the right thing in posting. Theres been a lot of space dedicated to describing how even a celebrity can suffer, feel lost, feel desperate. Its an admirable approach designed to express to us that if even these people with (you would think) limitless resources of time, money, and support structures need help to conquer their demons, then you should feel no shame in needing to as well. I applaud that - depression, like most illnesses, is an indiscriminate attacker, and cares not for status or demographic. However in my experience, in the throes of depression some people feel more alienated by such statements - depression isnt a logical thing and it twists the messages it hears - it can turn those statements into only special people like celebrities have the right to complain, and why are you so special that you should think you are actually ill, you are just bad/useless/worthless/failing and need to buck up and get over it. Ignoring the epithet that everyone is special (people with illness do not always engage with this), there can be a real feeling of shame transferred to people who, when they compare themselves to a celebrity in distress, feel anything but special, who feel like they are to blame for their situation, because they did a nameless something to make it happen or to deserve it, that the consequences of them speaking out would be immeasurably worse than a celebrity doing so, because the celebrity would have people and money around them to fight with them. So to the people reading this who arent special, who are bog standard ordinary, not perfect (or far from), to the people who cry more often than not, who dont laugh as much as they used to, and who cant see the tunnel let alone the light, I just want to say that the support is there for you too. Wonderful organisations like MIND look after everyone. Just because you arent a celebrity doesnt mean people wont listen to you. Just because you dont have millions in the bank or thousands of people hanging on your every step and word doesnt mean no-one cares that you access the support that can help you get back on an even keel. Asking for help is scary - it makes it all seem real, and it opens you up vulnerably to the diagnosis (aka judgement) of others on your situation. However it is the essential first step because every day shouldnt feel like it does when you are depressed. For me it took time, medication, and some therapies (mainly the first two for me). Im no better or worse than you because I sought help in the end, Im just where I am and I know Im better than I could have been if I hadnt. If todays news has made you think that maybe youre not as okay as you should be, do take that step - your GP, or a charity like Mind. Because even if youre not a celebrity, things could be better for you if you do. mind.org.uk/
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 08:36:43 +0000
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