Over the last month or so I have been discouraged from the fellowship. I’m not sure why it is I’m feeling this way but I am and it’s very bothersome. I could be feeling this way because I’m between sponsors at the moment and unable to work on my steps. Or maybe it’s because my expectations of the fellowship were too high. Whatever the reason may be, I’m feeling stuck. I’m far from perfect and I’m honestly not trying to bash the fellowship, I’m just thinking out loud. Lately I’ve been feeling that the fellowship can be hypocritical at times. I feel like people act like they are working the program and in reality it’s just a show. I know we’re all sick but isn’t the point of the program to work through life humbly and honestly while maintaining sobriety? How can people who are still very sick offer their guidance to new comers? Why is there gossip or judgements made? Sometimes I think about all the people who have recovered and do not attend the fellowships. They seem to be happy, living their life and maintain their sobriety. But at the same time I feel so guilty about wanting live my life without AA/NA/CA. Is that my higher power telling me something? MD
Posted on: Mon, 27 Jan 2014 13:30:17 +0000
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