Shameless, callous, selfish, evil, murderous, insane, death - this is a real feel good post. Maybe I should slip in a brownie recipe, or videos of kittens to lighten the mood – NOT. It is the intent of this post to shine the light of scrutiny on malignant narcissists: those who practice the black art of soul murder. It’s a heavy subject. Malignant narcissists are numerous, and they are everywhere. There’s no safety in denying that there is an invisible war for souls going on. Ignorance is bliss until a narcissist happens to you. We must get familiar with how they operate; slap them down on a cold metal slab; take a scalpel to them; pry them open and examine all their parts. I want to study their moves; discern their patterns and cut them off at the pass. Predictability means loss for them. Self preservation is priority number one. Narcissists are embarrassingly successful because of a universal human phobia and indifference to the existence of evil. I don’t share that phobia. I recognize the dark side of human nature. I faced it, and looked it in the eye even before I could walk and talk. I am well aware of how dangerous it is to have a malignant narcissist(s) in one’s sphere of influence – it’s the stuff of thrillers. I have been at the receiving end of gaslighting so diabolical and post-abuse cover-up so Machiavellian it was stranger than fiction. And, there is no doubt in my mind that the malignant narcissist’s paranoid fear of exposure makes them entirely capable of murder. Am I angry? You bet I am. I cherish my anger; it’s an energy that has kept me alive and motivated me to fight the good fight in a life filled with constant threats to my very being. Though I’ve reached indifference - for the most part - with the malignant narcissists that have infected my life, I will always be passionately outraged not only at the narcissist’s carefree existence as a ‘species’ but by the fact that we continually allow them to get away with their crimes, and often even collude with them. All hell must be laughing at us. When will the human race ever learn? The only form of accessible justice that I see – as a survivor of soul murder – is to take the internet and burn all their secrets and lies down to the ground. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean. --- Maya Angelou Narcissists are unsafe and it is not only stupid, but extremely dangerous to be in denial of that fact. Narcissists are morally insane not legally insane. Narcissists are by choice morally debauched, irresponsible, negligent, reckless and irrational. They deliberately choose to hurt others because they like it. They know that what they are doing is wrong but they choose to do it anyway because it’s a cheap and easy high – and a legal one to boot. They are not the victims of a ‘disease’ or an ‘emotional handicap’ who just can’t help themselves. They are not at the mercy of their pathology or at the whim of their disorder; though they sure would have us believe it. There is no safety in feeling sorry for narcissists but that is exactly what they want. In her book The Sociopath Next Door, Martha Stout, Ph.D. writes about a psychopath she interviewed. She asked him, “What is important to you in your life? What do you want more than anything else?” The man replied, “Oh that’s easy: What I like better than anything else is when people feel sorry for me. The thing I really want more than anything else out of life is people’s pity.” Stout goes on to write about the ‘pity ploy’ employed by the personality disordered among us: “More than admiration – more even than fear – pity from good people is carte blanche. When we pity, we are, at least for the moment, defenseless. Our emotional vulnerability when we pity is used against us by those who have no conscience. Most of us would agree that giving special dispensation to someone who is incapable of feeling guilt is a bad idea, but often, when an individual presents him or herself as pathetic, we do so nonetheless.” “Pity and sympathy are forces for good when they are reactions to deserving people who have fallen on misfortune. But when these sentiments are wrested out of us by the undeserving, by people whose behaviour is consistently antisocial, this is a sure sign that something is wrong, a potentially useful danger signal that we often overlook.” Thing rings absolutely true for me given what I experienced growing-up in a home with three full-blown narcissists. The underlying feeling that I had for my abusers, more than anything else, was pity. I felt sorry for them. I won’t go in to the sordid details of each of their pitiful existences or how they capitalized on the ‘pity ploy’ and the sympathy they elicited from me. Sufficed to say that malignant narcissist sister took the ‘pity ploy’ to such an extreme – it worked like gang busters for her in a sick family system – that she developed Munchausen Syndrome. Munchausen Syndrome is an attention-seeking personality disorder which is more common than statistic suggest. It is predominantly a female disorder in which an emotionally immature person with narcissistic tendencies, low self-esteem and a fragile ego has an overwhelming need to draw attention to herself and be the centre of attention. This is achieved by capitalizing on, exploiting, exaggerating or feigning illness, injury or personal misfortune. Never, ever feel sorry for anyone who deliberately harms you. Being trained to feel sorry for a bunch of pathologicals who abused me was one of the most dangerous aspect of narcissistic abuse. It set me up to not only accept bad behavior in people but to sympathize and make excuses for them. Healthy individuals do not want to be pitied - ever. Validated and understood? – Yes. But pitied? Hell no! Yet the devious narcissists want us to feel sorry for them all – the - time. Why? So we will assign a lower set of standards to them. They refuse to live by sane rules of common human decency because they are morally insane and their depravity clashes with normal human principles of right and wrong. Narcissists demand that we debase our value system in order to fit their agendas, and that we give them free reign to slither around in this world without ever being held accountable. And guess what? We do it. We gratuitously enable their pathology. How insane is that?
Posted on: Sun, 14 Dec 2014 04:38:52 +0000
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