When youre in the trenches of anxiety and depression even the most basic things like getting out of bed or brushing your hair can make you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and you would give anything for the next day not to come until next month sometime. It is so hard to be grateful for anything at all. So I make lists. Some things are obvious: I live in a first world country and have first world problems. I have amazing friends and family. But I added an unexpected thing to my list tonight in my insomnia haze. Everyone at work knows that when I call in sick 90% of the time it is mental health related. I make myself sick at the thought of coming back into work and I just dont want to go back. I worry that I will be yelled at or fired for letting them down again. And yet every time I go back, no one says a thing. And I can breathe again. And any time I do bring up my problems I am always met with understanding, sympathy and grace. So I am thankful for the management and team leads. And I am thankful to my fellow employees for not coming down on me as well. I feel sick each and every time I call in (and I dont even think I am the worst offender for this, I am probably there 90% of the time). Do I want to work at Cineplex forever? No. But for right now at least, I am exactly where I need to be. If any of my work facebook friends actually made it to the end of this novel I say: Thank you.
Posted on: Sun, 07 Dec 2014 10:47:47 +0000
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