While so many of us are caught up in the mass fear and media-driven hypochondria over the Ebola virus, I wanted to share some things you should actually be freaking out over: Just when you thought West Africa couldnt get any scarier, did you know 2,900 people are killed every year by Hippopotamuses? Those terrible creatures can gallop 18 MPH! And to think, I took my kids to see one at the zoo a few years ago and we were not wearing our running shoes. I shudder just thinking about it. Did you know approximately 100 people die every year from choking on pens? My son was chewing his pen last night while doing homework. I am just sick over how close we came to losing him. Approximately 150 people are killed every year by falling coconuts. And this is exactly why I refuse to go anywhere tropical for our next family vacation. Pack your suitcases my darlings, were going to Russia for some family fun. Wait a minute, I just read that falling icicles kill 100 people in Russia every year. Forget the family vacation. Around 450 people die every year from falling out of bed. It will no longer be the thoughts of scary clowns to keep me up at night; it will be the terrifying two foot drop off Im sleeping next to. There are 1000 bicycle related deaths each year. Which is why I cling to my husbands ankles every Monday evening as he tries to leave for a mountain bike ride, sobbing hysterically about how selfish hes being to leave me alone to raise these ̶h̶̶e̶̶a̶̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶n̶̶s̶ kids. Between 170 -190 people die every year from choking on popcorn, making it one of the Top 5 Deadliest Snacks. So next time my kids beg me to make popcorn for them, I will say no, not because Im too lazy but because I care about their lives. Jellyfish kill 40 people every year in the Philippines. Add that to the falling coconuts and weve got a country way scarier than Liberia. Vending machines kill 13 people every year and yet, we somehow never hear about this silent killer. The next time we walk by one of these death traps and my kid asks for a Snickers bar, I will feel completely justified to grab him and shriek for somebody to call 911. 2 million people die every year from Malaria transmitted by mosquitoes. TWO MILLION. And there is no vaccine. 36,000 people in the US die every year from the seasonal flu. 36,000. And there is an effective vaccine but many choose not to get it. Every day 9 people in the US are killed and 1,150 are injured from texting while driving. And yet we still havent put our phones away. Ebola can kill you, but so can donkeys, ants and flying champagne corks. Turn off the news, wash your hands, dont text while driving and dont touch poop.
Posted on: Fri, 17 Oct 2014 14:35:48 +0000
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