A Cleansing Too Far So, lately Ive been juicing a lot. Vegetable juicing. Im getting a lot closer to the big 4-0 (and how is that possible? Twenty-five doesnt seem like that long ago. I feel like I mislaid a decade somewhere) and while I stopped gaining in verticality a long time ago, Ive certainly been adding to my circumference. Also, we had a baby girl not too long ago. It seems like its time to get healthy. I gave up smokes (two months and counting thank you) and I decided to start adding more vegetable to my diet. Of course the problem with adding vegetables to your diet is that, at some point, they have to go into your mouth. Flavors and unpleasant textures are highly probable. Hence, the juicing. Ive been liking it pretty well so far. My favorite recipe comes out tasting a lot like V8 only spicier. Also, it makes a really good bloody mary. There are a lot of health benefits to juicing (besides the obvious one where vegetables actually get eaten) but for some reason they never talk about the drawbacks. They never give you the warnings. Like May cause wind. or Dont stray too far from the bathroom. I remember one of the early recipes I tried was for a cleansing shake. This seemed like a good idea at the time, but I didnt really consider the ... practical ... ramifications of a cleansing shake. It cleansed the shit out of me. Im glad it was a day off and I had no where to go. Also, while I enjoy a good fart as much as the next man standing next to his wife, there are times when its not too convenient. Like when you are teaching. I know theres a bunch of teachers out there on this feed. What do you do when youve been afflicted with a terrible wind? When you look up and theres still thirty minutes on the clock on the wall, but not thirty minutes left on the clock in your butt? Usually you think, Ill just wait till theres a loud moment in class and hope no one can hear me making a joyful noise. But where do you go? You could go to that quiet corner over there, by the fan. Wait, no. Scratch that. Not that corner. The other corner. Or, possibly, you could go stand next to Bobby and try to shift the blame. I remember one class with older students, jr. high age, that successfully navigated the whoever smelt it, dealt it philosophy - in English. (No, it wasnt me!) It wasnt something I was teaching at all, but I was proud of their fluency nonetheless. All of this leads me back to my main point. Vegetables, while often found in pretty colors and shapes, are not to be trusted and are best left to wives and other people who have the digestive guts to put them down. Or at the very least, Its not my fault honey. Im doing this for you.
Posted on: Fri, 19 Sep 2014 02:19:14 +0000
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