A lot of people are asking me about the threatened government shutdown – set for tomorrow. That’s when the new fiscal year starts (October 1). And right now, there’s no spending approved for the new year. So unless both the Senate and the House pass a bill to fund the government by midnight, and Obama signs it, we’re in for some changes. Here’s what’s going to happen and not happen… You’ll get mail, as usual. If you collect Social Security, don’t worry, those checks will keep on coming. Air traffic controllers will be manning their screens, as usual. As usual, the crack passenger-screening crews we all admire will be feeling you up in the airports. Amtrak trains will take you to work, so you can’t use that excuse. National weather forecasting service professionals will still be looking out their windows. All our national security services are exempt from the shutdown. Active duty military personnel will not be furloughed. No more than the usual numbers of illegal immigrants will be breaching our borders. The Coast Guard will still be keeping Iranian and North Korean subs off our beaches. Don’t expect a crime spree, because regular law enforcement will be out in full force. Counterterrorism agencies will be monitoring all our calls, as usual. Prisoners around the country won’t be walking out of jails – at least not tomorrow. The Justice Department said 97,000 of its 114,486 legal beagles will be in tomorrow. No one knows what the other people do there anyway, or the first 97,000, for that matter. If, on the other hand, you have a toxic dump behind your house, get your own mop. The Environmental Protection Agency told the White House they plan on furloughing all but 1,069 of their 16,200 workers. The National Labor Relations Board will have only 11 of its 1,611 laborers laboring. Which personally I think will result in a national tragedy. The Commodity Futures Trading Commission says only 28 of its 680 peeps will be peeping in on market manipulators. The others, whose job it is to count the money JPMorgan has paid in fines, will come back when Jamie Dimon sends in his next check. The Pentagon said it might have to furlough 400,000 employees, or half of their civilian workforce. Oh, the humanity. National parks and museums and monuments will close. The Census Bureau will have to stop collecting misleading data. Applications for small business loans won’t get processed. The IRS will have to cancel audit appointments, but won’t furlough any collection thugs. By some estimates, 825,000 of more than two million federal workers will be furloughed. So should you care about the threat of a government shutdown? The markets don’t care. They’re down less than half a percent today. I don’t care. Do you?
Posted on: Tue, 01 Oct 2013 01:08:55 +0000
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