As much as I try to imagine the future, it never seems clear. It is certainly reasonable that it isnt clear of course, but its definitely foggier. What world is it that I will become a part of in the next 4 years? Will I want to go to graduate school? Will I want to make something of myself? Thats the thing, the theme in this: life seems to be laid out like a formula. We are born, grow up, go through K-12, go through college (if were lucky), get a job or do more college (then get a job), live your life with a steady increase in income every few years (ideal, but not reality), have a family, save money, retire, enjoy retirement with savings and Social Security, then inevitably die. I guess this sounds perfectly normal, what is expected or even wanted out of life, but it troubles me. It troubles me because I always envision greatness for myself, legend. Yeah, this is where Im going to sound very pretentious, arrogant, and every other bad word describing potentially immoral self-righteousness. But if youll hear me out, there is this idea of self-actualization, that not only will I achieve my basic needs of survival and be able to sustain such things, but I will be able to thrive because my mind has grown, it has expanded into this great and amazing jungle of complexity. I will see all life anew, with a refreshing spark, that everyday existence in its monotony will open up a bloom of change and enlightenment. That is what I want. I want not to be ambitious. I want not to be lazy and selfish. I want not to be a person who wants success. I want to be someone who can revel in the day-to-day nonsense of it all and enjoy the very fact that I am able to experience anything at all. I am so tired of being a part of this silly society that places so much priority on monetary success. I am so tired of not being able to enjoy myself because I am in a constant state of worry over societal, institutional attachments. I wish that I had people around me who would discuss this kind of stuff with me because, while it may be incredibly idealistic and possibly foolish to want something a sort as this, you can not deny that it is awesomely intriguing
Posted on: Thu, 06 Mar 2014 08:38:13 +0000
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