Bill and I saw the Hobbit: Battle of the Five Kingdoms... it wasnt based on the Hobbit as its based on a fever dream where I would ask Paul to run a Mordor-based RPG for my birthday and I invited Bill, Lance, John-Michael, Greg, Joshua, Nathan and a variety of beers, wines, and spirits. Lance would hear Mordor and think LOTR and create a bunch of characters from the first movie, waving off the mistake as itll be fine Greg would take Gandolf because... Gandolf and Josh will play Kili because we are convinced he already is in the movie. Nathan would play Thorin, get cursed and have to break out in odd outbursts during the game everytime a 1 or 20 gets rolled. We all will take a drink when an elf has a winsome or longing look. We get drunk quickly. Team Hanna, fueled by elven induced drunkenness and an innate compulsion to troll will demand Billy Connelly ride in on my direboar, Bacon (with Pablo doing the voice, of course) and force a full blown battle that only took up a a total of two pages on the book This will encourage John, playing Legolas, to make all kinds of crazy claims on his ability, which Pablo will make him roll for (with the modifiers) and John will make, much to Pablos chagrin. This will cause the game to derail so hard that by the time we get to the climax of the battle, Greg will jump and roar EXACTLY WHERE THE HELL DID THE BEAR COME FROM?, decide that he simply just cant even, go to the couch and open another beer. Bill, satisfied that his work here is done will join Greg and they will talk about exactly what happened in the book. Then we play Rock Band. And that was The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Kingdoms.
Posted on: Mon, 29 Dec 2014 03:52:26 +0000