Can you too set goals to help others? Being ill or impaired may help you to be an especially skillful comforter because your problems make you more sensitive to the pain of others. Stay in touch with others. Medical studies show that having social contacts is good for your health. But the reverse is also true. “The relationship between social isolation and mortality is as . . . strong as the relationship between smoking . . . and mortality,” states one researcher. He adds: “It may be as important to your health to improve your social relationships as it is to stop smoking.” No wonder he concludes that our skills at keeping social relationships “have survival value”!—Proverbs 18:1. However, as noted in the preceding article, the problem may be that some of your friends have stopped visiting you. For your own good, you need to stem the rising tide of isolation. But how? You might start by inviting your friends to visit you. Make visiting you a pleasant experience. You can do so by limiting your discussions about your illness so that your visitors do not grow weary of hearing about it. One chronically ill woman solved this problem by imposing a time limit on conversations with her husband about her illness. “We simply had to contain this,” she says. Indeed, your illness does not need to smother everything else you can share. One visitor, after talking with his bedridden friend about art, history, and his reasons for faith in Jehovah God, said: “He’s much more than his illness. It was great talking with him.” Maintaining a good sense of humor will also make it pleasant for your friends to stop by. Besides, laughter benefits you personally. “Humor helps you to cope in many situations and with many situations,” says a man with Parkinson’s disease. Indeed, laughter can be good medicine. Notes Proverbs 17:22: “A heart that is joyful does good as a curer.” Even a few minutes of laughter will do you good. Moreover, “unlike some of the other remedies we try, laughter is completely safe, nontoxic, and fun,” notes author Susan Milstrey Wells, who is chronically ill herself. “All we have to lose is a bad mood.” Find ways to reduce stress. Studies confirm that stress may worsen the physical symptoms of a disease, while stress reduction helps to make them more tolerable. Hence, give yourself a break from time to time. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4) Do not eat, sleep, and breathe your illness. If you are homebound, you may try to lower the pressures of your emotions by listening to quiet music, reading a book, taking a long bath, writing letters or poetry, painting a picture, playing a musical instrument, talking to a trusted friend, or becoming involved in similar activities. Doing so will not provide a permanent solution to your problem, but it may bring you temporary respite. If you are mobile, take a walk, go shopping, do gardening, take a drive or, if possible, go on vacation. Admittedly, taking a trip may be more complicated because of your illness, but with advance preparation and some improvising, hurdles can be overcome. For instance, Lex and Tineke, mentioned earlier, managed to travel abroad. “At first it was a bit tense,” says Lex, “but we had a great vacation!” Indeed, your illness may be part of your life, but it does not have to take over your life. Derive strength from faith. True Christians who have successfully coped with serious impairment state that their faith in Jehovah God and also their association with the Christian congregation are sources of constant comfort and strength. Here are some of their comments about the value of praying, studying the Bible, meditating on the future, and attending Christian meetings at the Kingdom Hall. ● “Occasionally, I still get depressed. When this happens, I pray to Jehovah, and he renews my determination to continue doing what I can.”—Psalm 55:22; Luke 11:13. ● “Reading the Bible and meditating on what I read helps me enormously to keep my peace of mind.”—Psalm 63:6; 77:11, 12. ● “Bible study reminds me that the real life is still ahead and that I will not be disabled forever.”—Isaiah 35:5, 6; Revelation 21:3, 4. ● “Having faith in the future promised in the Bible gives me the strength to deal with life one day at a time.”—Matthew 6:33, 34; Romans 12:12. ● “Being at the meetings at the Kingdom Hall keeps my mind focused on positive things and not on my illness.”—Psalm 26:12; 27:4. ● “Encouraging association with congregation members warms my heart.”—Acts 28:15. The Bible assures us: “Jehovah is good, a stronghold in the day of distress. And he is cognizant of those seeking refuge in him.” (Nahum 1:7) Having a close bond with Jehovah God and associating with the Christian congregation are sources of comfort and strength.—Romans 1:11, 12; 2 Corinthians 1:3; 4:7. Give Yourself Time. Living successfully with your grave illness or disability is a process that “occurs over time and not overnight,” observes a social worker who helps people to deal with the effects of long-term illness. Give yourself time, advises another expert, for you are learning “an entirely new skill: dealing with a grave illness.” Realize that even with a positive attitude, you may have bad days or weeks when the effects of your illness wear you down. In time, however, you may see progress. That was the case with one woman, who said: “I was so excited when I realized that I had gone an entire day without even thinking of cancer. . . . A while ago, I would never have thought that possible.” Indeed, once you have lived through your initial fears and have set new goals, you may be surprised at how well you will be able to cope
Posted on: Tue, 23 Jul 2013 21:59:50 +0000
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