Day 12 (September 12th): #ThirtyThings you may not know about me... Almost all my close male friendships fell/have fallen apart for a myriad of reasons, mostly beyond my control. In first grade,I lost my longtime best friends Chris Brooks Tommy Thoughton due to us moving from Richmond to Culpeper in 1967, where I made another best friend Tom Johnston, whom I lost when I made another best friend moving to Portsmouth in 1968, my best friend ever at the time, Wes Evans. I never had another best friend of his calibre for years. Wes and I were as close as two boys could be... we did everything together. Wes taught me chess and Stratego. We rode bikes down to the docks, did summer camp together. Even though Wes was two grades ahead of me, we clicked perfectly. When it was announced we were moving to Arizona, two years later, Wes cried for two weeks. Although I didnt cry, I was heartbroken and numb... as if the rug was pulled from me, but knew we were moving for my/my dads allergies. In Phoenix, I quickly made friends with Scott Land, my age, while in Squaw Peak School and later, Lindsey Harcum, a year younger than me. I also made friends with neighbors, John Sullivan and Pat Somers. My relationship with Pat lasted until our nearly-tragic auto accident on Christmas Eve, 1980 of which he was driving. That broadside accident in which Pat was pried out of his 1980 Toyota Corolla lift back shrunken two thirds of its original size was the crux of putting up a traffic light at 7th Ave. & Butler, FYI. My runner-up friendship to Wes was my best friend Grant McIver, whom I met in 7th grade. I idolized Grant. He and his cool older brother Mark exposed me to many things I still hold dear today... James Bond, World War II, aviation, movie posters, drawing, realistic model kit building, dioramas, wargames, rocketry, you name it. Grant was like Wes on steroids. Then, two years later, Grants parents separated and divorced... and he went from being my best friend to my worst enemy, bullying and making fun of me. My 8th grade and 9th grade years were hell. I had no connect to anyone or anything. I never had another friend of the calibre of closeness in Grant or Wes. In CP, I made close friends with Don Litchfield, my unit leader, but that all fell apart when I toured with his fiancé, Nancy Skoglund (Shalkey) the following tour and he dumped her a month into our five month mission. In college, four years later, I made an amazing Christian friend, Doug Kramer as we were both freshmen at ASU as well as my awesome best friend and eventual best man, Dean Swift. Doug moved away to go to UofA (traitor - lol) as he was from Tucson, but thankfully, I had my BFF Dean. Dean and I did many things together and I got to know his family and him mine when my carbon monoxide poisoning accident happened. Dean was there. Dean supported me even though he didnt know what was going on. Dean was always there for me. Nat DAgostino and I became friends in the mid-80s and we stayed friends, but lost touch for a while until recently. Dean moved to Cali and I had no male best friend again for nearly a decade until Brad Whaley in 1993 and his brother, Alec, whom became close and then less than a year later, following marital issues, dumped me and we lost touch. I met Kerwin Blau and we got close, for a while and even went to World Series Game 7 together, but not much later, we faded after he got so busy with his family and teaching career relegated to Facebook until my gender change. I had no one until Julio Abraham, whom Id met in mid-90s - Julio was there for me through my divorce as I was through his prior, my cancer battle, you name it... after the better part of two decades, Julio and I went our separate ways earlier this year due to my gender change. Half a dozen years ago, I met my best friend, Terry Neill at my bible study group. Terry and Dean along with Nat are the only close male friends I have left in my life along with my cousin Mike. My friendships were ripped from me, but I think I finally know why... I was female and even though I didnt know it, they must have picked up on it. Im thankful for my three above friends of a number of years and their support as well as those lost along the way. When I see other guys who are still best friends from their childhood, I have envy of such longevity. I have formed very few lasting male bonds... even with my own father, we had numerous issues to overcome and get where we are now. My closest ever friend I had was my middle son, Trevor - and we all know what happened there, so I guess I am not meant to have any real super close male relationships in my life. At least I have the one true friend who will never leave me, Jesus, as my very best friend, the only one who never left me - ever.
Posted on: Mon, 15 Sep 2014 06:24:29 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015