Eight years ago, I lost one of the very best friends in my life to ALS, a tremendous guy named Terry Matthews. Terry stood by me when I was divorced and scared to be single, and he forced me to come out of my self-imposed shell and socialize with others. He later helped me think through a needed career change; I trusted his wisdom and shrewdness. And a couple years later, he introduced me to a really nice guy hed met through a mutual friend, and that guy was JB Hodgdon. I recall the evening I learned Terry had that savage disease - we were at dinner at another friends house, and when Terry told me, in his matter of fact style, I gasped and simply crumbled to the floor, for I knew at that moment that while he had done so much for me for as long as Id known him, there was nothing I could do for him to fix his disease or in any way alter its course. So I did the only thing I could do - I stood by him. And two years later, in the months leading up to his death, I would cut his hair, help with his IVs, feed him lunch, and just talk about anything he wanted to discuss. I never grew bored of being with Terry. I tried to do whatever I could to help out his fabulous wife Jennifer, who had a business she couldnt totally ignore; Jen remains my dear friend. And I wrote and delivered Terrys eulogy, which stands out in my lifetime as the single-most difficult thing Ive ever done. Terry was a macho, no-nonsense Texan and he didnt like tears; I will never know how I got through the eulogy without falling apart-somehow, I think Terry helped me then, too. So the reason Ive gone into such intimate detail is that Ive been watching all the ALS awareness videos for a week or so now, and have had Terry on my mind; but it occurred to me that unless you have known someone with ALS well enough, you have no idea how savage is this dreadful disease that hits most of its victims in their prime. Why? Because after it really starts to progress, they go inward and stay home - its easier that way. So the general public does no know that these vital individuals, brains sharp and focused as ever, slowly just wither and then die. As for our close group of friends, when the time came that Terry was growing unstable even with his cane, our three closest couples went to Vegas and had a great farewell weekend - Ill post a picture below. But thereafter, Terry was largely just at home - waiting. So Im grateful that this current ice water challenge is raising awareness of ALS, but I hope money can be raised as well, to try to unlock the secrets of why it strikes with no warning and takes some of our best and brightest way too soon - and after a long, slow battle to survive which each of them and their loved ones know is hopeless. So please give what you can to ALS research as JB and I do - and enjoy the Bill Gates challenge below - it shows a whimsical side of Gates rarely seen.
Posted on: Fri, 15 Aug 2014 20:24:29 +0000