Honest: Ellie is teaching me not to fake it. Last Friday afternoon we were driving downtown to pick up Gracie from rehearsal. Elles Belles was drawn, quiet, I would even say sullen but that is simply impossible to say about my loud, shiny, fun, loving, wild, sunshine baby. With her blonde hair, big blue eyes and freckles, she looks nothing like me, but her extrovert heart is an echo of my own. I tried to get her to tell me what was wrong, played her favorite music, made a fart joke, asked 20 questions hoping to shake it out of her or maker her smile. Finally she looked at me and said Mommy, sometimes I am just tired and grumpy. And thats ok, really. I was shocked. She is right. I am so blessed with a joyful heart and a spiritual gift to encourage people, but sometimes I am a big fake. I put pressure on myself because I feel it is expected of me. I paste on a smile when I am truly exhausted, I crack a joke to cover disappointment and can surely make you believe my life is perfect thanks to my 4 year degree in Theatre. I get mean, grumpy and angry just like everybody else, I just tend to solo self medicate with chocolate, PopChips and Pride and Prejudice. Im going cold turkey, no more faking it. I doubt I will whine and howl on FB, but I am going to let my yes mean yes and my no mean no. And thats ok, really. #truthfulltuesday #nofakin #andalittlechildwillleadthem
Posted on: Wed, 08 Oct 2014 00:30:37 +0000
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