I AM STRESSED OUT BEYOND MAX. I WAS ALREADY UPSET OVER AN ISSUE THAT I EXPERIENCED YESTERDAY, NOT RELATED TO MY MOTHER’S AILMENT. DUE TO MY MOTHER’S SEVERE WATER RETENTION, HER MOBILITY IS EXTREMELY LIMITED. HER WATER PILLS AREN’T WORKING THE WAY THAT THEY SHOULD. A FEW DAYS AGO, I RECOMMENDED TO HER THAT SHE SHOULD SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT TO HAVE THE EXCESS WATER REMOVED (DRAINED VIA IV). SHE IS BASICALLY CONFINED TO THE COUCH BECAUSE IT TAKES A LOT OF STRENGTH & ENERGY FOR HER TO GET UP AND MOVE ABOUT THE HOUSE, SO I HAVE TO ASSIST HER WITH MOST THINGS, WHICH ISN’T AN ISSUE. ANYHOW, SHE WOKE ME UP VIA PHONE THIS MORNING TO TURN ON THE TV FOR HER AND TO FIND SOME MATCHES FOR HER. ALL OF THE PLACES WHERE SHE TOLD ME TO LOOK DID NOT HAVE ANY MATCHES PRESENT. I ALREADY MENTIONED THAT SINCE HER MOBILITY IS EXTREMELY LIMITED, SHE NOW SMOKES IN THE LIVING ROOM VS AT LEAST ON THE BACK PORCH. (SHE SHOULD NOT BE SMOKING ANYHOW.) SINCE SHE DID NOT HAVE A CIGARETTE LIGHTER NOR ANY MATCHES, SHE DEMANDED ME TO LIGHT HER A CIGARETTE VIA THE STOVE. I WAS HESITANT IN FIRST BEFORE SHE STARTED YELLING AT ME OUT OF FRUSTRATION. SHE TOLD ME, “HURRY UP! HURRY UP! HURRY UP!” IT REALLY UPSET ME AND HURT ME TO HAD TO BE THE ONE TO DIRECTLY ASSIST HER IN LIGHTING HER CIGARETTE. I HAVE NEVER LIT A CIGARETTE IN MY NEARLY 32 YEARS OF BEING ON THIS EARTH UNTIL THIS MORNING. TO WATCH HER CHOKE DOWN THAT CIGARETTE WAS AGGRAVATING AND HURTING TO ME. TO MAKE THINGS WORSE, SINCE I DO NOT SMOKE, I HAD TO EXPERIENCE THE UNPLEASANT WRATH OF BREATHING THE SMOKE, WHICH I CAN SMELL, NO MATTER WHAT PART OF THE HOUSE THAT I AM IN. SHE GOT UPSET WITH ME OVER MY FRUSTRATION WITH HER SMOKING AND EVEN OVER THE FACT THAT I CANNOT STAND THE SMELL. IT IS BAD ENOUGH THAT MY MOTHER IS SICK; I CANNOT AFFORD TO GET SICK MYSELF. I HAVE ALREADY BEEN EXPERIENCING TINGLY SENSATIONS IN MY CHEST FOR QUITE SOMETIME NOW. I WOULD NOT WANT ME HAVING TO ENDURE SECOND HAND SMOKE TO LEAD TO SOMETHING WORSE. ALL I CAN DO IS PRAY.
Posted on: Mon, 31 Mar 2014 13:35:17 +0000
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