I dont celebrate birthdays because they have become sad occasions to me. For others, their birthdays are perhaps the most important days of their lives, but that does not apply to me. In fact, that is the point in my life when I am at my lowest, weakest...in technically all aspects. My birthday is my Dark Night every year, the most challenging period of my life that could either break me completely or make me go further. That is the reason why I dont consider my birthday as something special; instead, its more like crucial. Last year, however, certain people (who I know really love me, admit it!) made the 24th of September more special than I could imagine. I didnt get to have the usual 18 roses or 18 dances. I didnt get to wear beautiful dresses and glittering shoes that most girls wouldve wanted. I didnt throw a great party with colorful motifs, music, buffet style dinners, and the likes. In fact, I had nothing at all! That is, nothing except them and my family who stood by me despite all odds in life. I couldnt have hoped for anything better than spending my day with people who continuously touch my life and urge me to keep going no matter what. Each year is not the same as the one before, or the one after it. I dont know whats in store for me tomorrow, or the days that follow. I am not even sure if I will be able to surpass the challenges that I am currently going through. (For all I know, I might just completely lose my grip and never overcome my Dark Night. But, I pray that doesnt happen.) Now, I dont want to get more emotional, but I would like to ask something from you. Please bear with me. Please understand me (better). I appreciate everything that you do for me, with me. I am very grateful to all of you. Thank you for making my 19 years worth living so far. I am sorry if I only keep on growing old, but I never grow up. I will, youll see. For now, thank you so much and please...dont surprise me--again! Spending my day with you and knowing that you are there to help me especially when I needed you the most are enough.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Sep 2014 12:28:00 +0000
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