I had to share this amazing womans story with you. She has so many trials in her life, and many, many health issues. She is such an encourager. im going to be serious for a couple minutes. i know, its so unlike me. betty is an older woman who works at B &B grocery. over the years weve actually become friends. her husband has althzeimers & so always asks about me & my family & i ask about her & hers. every time i see her, she gets a hug. a month ago, i was in line & we were talking &, as always, i was joking around & making her laugh. a young girl behind me entered the converstation & talked about how her mom died of breast cancer. i comforted her, complimented her, etc. made her laugh some more, hugged betty & left. a few days later, betty wrote me a letter, telling me how much i inspire her & how much i inspired this girl. honestly, i dont get it. i dont understand. all i did was listen. you cant listen to someone, really listen to them, & not respond in some way. be happy when their happy. sad when their sad. scared when their scared. the day after my accident, betty called & left a message, telling me that she had been diagnosed & had surgery for ovarian cancer. she sounded so tired & depressed. i wrote her a note & mailed it a couple days ago. so, i thought that was the reason she called me yesterday, but it wasnt. she hadnt received it yet. we talked for a little while & she said to me, a friend of mine read a quote saying that God gives trials to special people & i thought of you. i said, well, then, i must be REAL special. & laughed. but, she answered, totally serious, no. but you really ARE special. i dont know what it is. you are always laughing. always positive.i dont know how you do it. ill tell you the same things i told her. im not always happy. im not always laughing. in fact, there are too many times that i am curled up in a ball crying. wondering why me? & i feel like doing it all the time! i am always inches from crying. i am frustrated, & discourage,, & angry with my weakness & inability to accomplish the simplest f tasks. i look back on my day & ask myself how im not just a waste of oxygen. how useless i feel. i dont want to go to bed at night because i cant bear anoother night of tossing & turning in pain just face one more day like every other. i post on fb because i dont want to talk face to face or on the phone with anyone because i know i cant maintain it. how do i laugh? how am i the way i am? JESUS. Jesus helps me. i have to make a conscious effort to see the positive. i have to make the choice, second by second, to put aside the worries, the pain, the negative, & let Jesus show me the positive. let Him use me. as long as He uses everything i face to help someone else...then, to me, it becomes worth it. its not all for nothing. He gives me the peace i need, the strength i need, the comfort i need to face every day. all day. i am desperate for Him because i am nothing without Him. does that make sense to you? betty is amish or mennonite & she still didnt seem to understand. you can sit in church every time the doors are open & go to every activity. you can go to mass & confession. you can read your Bible. you can do all sorts of religious things. but if you dont have a personal, face to face, like a friend relationship with Jesus Christ...then you are missing out. He IS my hope. He IS my peace. He IS my joy. He IS my strength. He IS everything i need (whether i want i or not, ha ha!). i dont think i have been dishonest. Jesus gives me the ability & insight to laugh at myself. so see things in a different light. i am not special. i am just like you . & Jesus can give you the identical attidute & perspective, etc. that He does me...if you let Him.
Posted on: Fri, 28 Mar 2014 11:33:56 +0000
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