I think I am number 5. The Houdini Drunk Types of girls when they get drunk. 1. The Lost Cause Drunk Everyone has that friend who “loses” her keys, her ID, or her phone. You will spend most of the night attempting to track down her belongings which were in her pocket the whole time. She will however, without fail, wake up with only one shoe. 2. The Destroyer Drunk Whether she is dropping glasses, bottles, or her phone, she brings a symphony of shattering sounds wherever she goes. She is usually the one who ends up ripping menus into pieces and/or throwing limes at a random passerby as well. 3. The Dancing Queen Drunk You can usually find her pushing her self to the middle of the dance floor and grinding on anything with a pulse. She is tone deaf and has no rhythm, but that won’t stop her from preforming a one woman show on the bar whose encore closes face first on the floor. 4. The Make-Out Drunk She came. She kissed. She conquered. She also got a shit load of free drinks. 5. The Houdini Drunk She will disappear and resurface more times than Lindsay Lohan has entered rehab. The only way to keep tabs on this one would be if Louis Vuitton came out with a line of those mini backpacks with the leash attachments. 6. The Other-Half Drunk You have known her for years yet haven’t seen her in months since “she” became a “we.” Her boyfriend finally escaped for a night out so she dusted off her heels and came to meet you. She will spend the entire night texting him/simultaneously making you nauseous. With any luck, she will leave by midnight, but not before flirting with every guy in the bar to prove she’s still got it. 7. The Shots, Shots, Shots!!!! Drunk You tell her you have to work tomorrow. You have brunch with the boyfriend’s family whom you have never met. You have a top secret meeting with The President. You are still a pussy if you take anything less than 23765891 shots with her every six minutes. 8. The Semi-Sober Drunk For whatever reason she is not as intoxicated as the rest of you even though you watched your other friend make her take all those shots. She is level headed, therefore when one of you suggests hopping into the back of a pick-up truck to some random’s house party, she is there to attempt to talk some sense into you…or at least distract you long enough for those guys to find a group drunk in its entirety. 9. The Cry Baby Drunk The friend that is now upset with the one of you who wouldn’t let her leave with sweatpants at the bar guy, who may or may not have been her future husband. Now she will never know, and if she winds up with a collection of cats, it is your fault! 10. The Girl on a Mission. “I am getting hammered tonight!” “I sooooo getting laid tonight!” “I am going to eat a burrito the size of my head later!” Either way this girl has her mind set on something, and IT IS HAPPENING. Don’t try to get in her way or you may lose a weave or finger. If she wants to bang the guy with the lazy eye, that’s her prerogative…just as long as I get my effing burrito!
Posted on: Sun, 15 Jun 2014 05:57:13 +0000
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