I was enjoying my new back terrace, sitting in sofa by my fish pond. It looked very crowded, geez, thought I only got nine Koi fish in that 2 x 1 m pond. I sat still. I stared. Omg, when was the last time I saw them? They have gotten so big! I lay my back on the sofa. Feel somehow lonely, but as I closed my eyes all I listened to was the little fountain in the pond and little noise the fish were making. I feel at ease. I feel home. When I opened my eyes, saw thay white ceiling and bars of light steel that hold the roof. Suddenly asked myself, What am I looking for in life? What I strive for? Do I have a goal set to achieve before my worldly journey ends? I turned my head to the splashing waters in the pond. Sounds heavenly. I looked back to past years and tried to reflect on each moment of gratitute, disappointment, love, joy, desperation, frustration, excitement.., everything, small and big. Anything that brought me up to worldly heaven, and dumped me in worldly hell. Well, as a matter of fact, worldly heaven are few, very rare. Only had it in past year. My lucky star was on me. On the opposite, hell are many. But I am grateful for what i have been through. I am thankful for the bitter and sweet. I feel blessed for every pain and cure. But then I asked myself again, What do I want? I know what wealth is. It is what I have gotten now, love, faith, hope. I live decent life. Not much extra, just decent. Thats heaven. So I guess it is not Luxury that I want. I have a family. Ive got my daughter and parents in it. Thats wealth. I have hope. Always tell myself theres always a good reason for everything that happens in life. I dont give up easy. I have faith. Always tell myself, Everything has its own time and place. I try to learn when to walk away with my head held high, in a faith that it will do good for everyone I love, I care for. What do I fear? Some little voice somewhere inside whispered something. Could hardly hear. what is it? i asked again. LOVE came a loud voice. I got up, lifted my head, looked around, still sitting still in sofa facing the backyard. Thought it must be the splashing water in the pond. Must be those fish trying to get my attention. what is it again? i asked. No answer. It started to rain. Smell of rain carried my mind some place at the first struck of thunder that brought that familiar scent to the tip of my nose. Scent of something. Tried to shrug it off. Didnt go away. I walked to the pond. I sat on the edge. My legs in the water. Rain on me. I asked myself again, What do I want? What do I fear? Same answer came up. I looked up to the pouring rain...
Posted on: Mon, 11 Aug 2014 05:54:12 +0000
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