Ive been to Wal-Mart. Hot 30 mph wind. 2 full baskets of Memorial Day flowers. ODJ chased them all over that lot. Home long enough to make something for LM to eat at noon because Im meeting a writer friend at Olive Garden for a quick lunch. Also have to go let daughters doggies out at noon so they can pee. sigh. I may get back to writing this afternoon. Or I may not. Little Mama took the sheets off her bed this morning to wash, and then made it up without them. I tried to get her to let me put them back on but she didnt want her bedspread messed up. Its going to be hell tonight when shes so tired shes staggering and Im trying to find the dang things and put them back on. LM was mad at me when I left to go to Wal-Mart. Mad enough she was crying. She kept asking me a question and I answered it about three times and the last time I answered, she decided I was mad at her, and stomped off. There is no rhyme or reason as to what she THOUGHT was going on between us, but thats how conversations between us work these days. I got to thinking last night at all of the issues shes dealing with right now. Its not enough that she has dementia and lives in a world of her own making, but she has gone deaf, and she has no short term memory. I cant tell you what a nightmare all of that is put together. She is so lost. Cant understand. Cant hear. Cant remember. God bless her sweet heart. School is out this Friday. Daughter says it wont happen soon enough. Scout says it will be the longest week of his life. LOL Have to find a day to take flowers to Prague and Paden cemeteries toward the end of the week. Little Mama will go and it will be the day from hell, but its what we do. It is our tradition and we are the last two in our family to still do this. I dont think my children will continue it. Not many do these days. It was such a special part of my childhood, going to the cemeteries with my family to help clean off the family plots and put out fresh flowers in water-filled Mason jars. Then watching my Daddy lead the other veterans from the American Legion into the cemetery on Memorial Day. A preacher saying a prayer. Holding my ears when the fired off the 21 gun salute and getting tears in my eyes as another solider began playing taps. Everyone from that time is all gone now except me and Little Mama. Its not that we go to see them when were putting flowers on their graves because I know theyre not there. But it is a way of honoring their presence in our lives. For as long as I live, they will not be forgotten. Memories are fragile. The older they get, the less sharp their edges. The past is not a place a residence, but a thing to cherish. It built the framework of your life.
Posted on: Mon, 19 May 2014 16:25:50 +0000
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