MY CAPTAIN-- SHOULD I GO ON FACEBOOK AND TALK ABOUT HOW YOU MISTREATED ME COMPLETE WITH POLICE REPORT PROOF? a poem by ELK (all rights reserved) =========================== When I saw this white father stand up for his daughter on the news, I was in shock because he was being honest and truthful My captain after you brandished a knife and threatened to cut me I got a phone call from you and your Mom and I was told ---NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME Well folks might start to care if I talk about how I was mistreated like I was nothing on Youtube The truth of the matter is that no one cared about me because I am black I was not the white person so even though you had pulled a knife out on me and threatened to cut me and I had to be put down like I was nothing for doing nothing at all wrong--- IT WAS WRONG TO DO THAT AND NO ONE APOLOGIZED This white man got it right talking about how parents can transmit wrong attitudes about race My captain you told Sister Annette that you had abandoned me and mistreated me because you knew you liked black women and got us involved but after we were involved you did not stop your Mom from putting me down and you did not apologize for mistreating me and threatening my wrongly Maybe Youtube would be a better venue to talk about it all moreso than in poetry or a police report or even a court It is not right that no one has apologized to me and it has been over a year And well I am the victim of racism and bullying too The only reason I was told that I have to be a secret is because of my race And the only reason I can think of for you to pull a knife out on me for speaking the truth is so that you would bully me into silence then after that you had the nerve to say that you had not even pulled out that knife til a police report proved otherwise recommending aggravated assault charges against you even though you are not gonna get prosecuted ========================== I still love you because you are my soulmate But I do not regret taking a stand against your mistreating me only due to my race because that is racism You never told the other white girlfriend that she had to be a secret and you did not tell who you dated after me who is white that they could not be a facebook friend and block them like you did me either AND YOU LOVE ME AND DID THIS TO ME ANYWAY ------------------------- After you did all that you would call me up and say nothing periodically for 10 months You also gaslighted me telling me you did not brandish a knife too KNOWING THAT WAS A TOTAL LIE TRYING TO PLAY MIND GAMES ON ME Then you would call up Sister Annette and be honest about your true feelings and tell her you could not treat me right for fear of losing white family/ friends but at no point did you really think about how you were hurting me Sister Annette said you would apologize but you never did You are nasty if someone white is looking even though that is not how you truly feel about me as I feel you still love me as I love you AND YOU WOULD TELL SISTER ANNETTE ABOUT HOW YOU LOVE ME AND WE ARE SOULMATES WHO BELONG TOGETHER TOO ========================= But I am not big on Youtube but what I have gone thru I would like to share with the world Racism and bullying are very real things and my captain i want you to get it that people have killed themselves going thru how badly you have mistreated me luring me into a relationship lying about your true relationship status, offering me a real relationship then wanting me to be a secret because you do not want to tell whites in your life you love a black woman as your soulmate and you want to marry her and have babies with her too I feel this fathers frustration with racism and bullying both because I have suffered both from you my captain and you know that the views of some in your family on race is wrong ...and you got involved with me knowing my race and you got me to trust you then you did not have courage to try to overcome the racism in your family Instead I had to be the victim of racism and bullying at your hands I am at a stage of my life now where I have no reason to not go out here and talk about these kinds of issues more publicly maybe in a place like Youtube ========================== There is no excuse for you not apologizing to me by now After you saw the police report, which I know you received since I had a courier put it in your hands--- you knew you did wrong to me without a doubt and you have tried to be nasty or ignore what you did wrong STILL NO APOLOGY Since listening to this man I want people to know what modern racism in dating and bullying are like You are told race does not matter to get you into a relationship then when you are in love and happy you want the black person to go along with their being mistreated so you the white guy does not have to change your image as some kinda perfect white guy that you have perpetuated which is a total lie Then when I speak the truth I am threatened and bullied Then because I am truthful, you try to sully my name like I am some kind of crazy or stalker I never have been since I have not been calling you regularly for 10 months saying nothing but wanting to hear my voice And then there was you posing as a female on a fake facebook account and then when I ask if you are known the profile goes away confirming it was you ======================== But I think what was the worst thing you did was blocking me as a facebook friend right after you offered me a real relationship When you later explained why? It was so you did not have to explain having a woman of color friend/ girlfriend to your friend/ family circle on facebook which has no females of colors and only black guys you work with as friends What kinda damage does that do to someones self esteem What kinda message does that send about how you are so ashamed of loving a black woman that you have to hide that about you from the world ========================= If you had just left me alone from the start or came clean before things went intimate I could say no harm no foul I WAS OFFERED A REAL RELATIONSHIP AND TOLD HOW YOU WERE GONNA MAKE SURE WE KEPT BEING TOGETHER AND SEEING EACH OTHER But that is not what happened and to be honest I got the sense from your family that I never mattered as a human being because of my race TO THEM BUT YOU LOVE ME AND I MATTER TO YOU AND YOU NEVER STOOD UP FOR ME AND TOLD THEM YOU LOVE ME AND YOU WERE IN THE WRONG THE BAD POSITION YOU HAD PUT ME IN LYING TO ME Even if that is how you were raised, it is the 21st century so if you know that you love a black woman like me and are attracted to black women there is nothing that was stopping you from saying this is who I am and learn to accept it rather than telling me the woman of color---you have to be a secret then violently flipping out on me with a knife in your hand when I refused to be a secret because that kinda behavior makes no sense and is silly and stupid in the 21st century ========================= You talked with Sister Annette saying you thought about us marrying and having babies together Sister Annette said you talked about how you wanted us to have a girl who would be really smart like me and the most beautiful girl ever But would you stand up for our baby that we both have thought about having together like this white man stood up for his black daughter? ????????????????????????????????????????? My captain ---- you could not even own our relationship on something as silly as facebook so you would not have to explain having a woman of color like me as a friend/ girlfriend When I saw this video and thought about what Sister Annette told me about you talking about us marrying and having babies-- well would you even standup for your own mixed race kid? I TOO LIKE YOU HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT US HAVING BABIES TOGETHER MY CAPTAIN BUT WOULD YOU PUT YOURSELF ON THE LINE FOR OUR MIXED RACE CHILD BECAUSE SOMETIMES THAT IS REQUIRED I am tan/black and my Dad had to go to bat for me multiple times When I was bullied in middle school with pins being poked in the seat I sat in, I turned around and popped who had done that to me and they sent me to the office and my parents were like--- you did right AND NOTHING HAPPENED TO ME I also was the victim of bullying in high school on the basketball team and it got so bad that one time they were playing dirty and I just turned around and popped who was doing it to me and my sister ran and joined in and word spread around school Nothing happened to me but my sister and I got a reputation of beating up who had messed with me and Mom was coy--- my girls do that ----because we are the pictures of total perfect social manners but we fight back when messed with and my captain you have seen that spirit coming back at you too MY PARENTS WERE AMONG THOSE WHO STOOD TO END SUCCESSFULLY END SEGREGATION SO I HAVE THAT GENE THAT FIGHTS BACK AGAINST RACISM AND BULLYING AND DOES NOT TAKE WRONGFUL MISTREATMENT QUIETLY AND I AIM TO DO THAT SUCCESSFULLY AND POSITIVELY AND IN A WAY WHERE NOTHING ADVERSE IS GONNA HAPPEN TO ME IN TERMS OF CHALLENGING THE WRONG THAT IS WRONG But when I got to college racism and bullying are more subtle like that instructor who tried to give me a lower grade than a white female student where we both had the exact same average Then one has to use the media and public forces to get people to do as they should So in light of this youtube video I guess I am saying do not be surprised if I take to Youtube and start to tell my story about what happened with us ===================================== The way that I look at it -- maybe it will help someone out who has been similarly mistreated by someone who loves them because they lack courage to be who they really are and say publicly I love a black woman and I mistreated her only due to her race knowing it was wrong then lied on her and about what happened causing her further pain and damage ....and I did this so that I would look better as a white guy as I do no want to say to whites I love this woman though I said it to her and talked about my desires to marry her and have a family with her to a stranger I DO WANT THE TRUTH TO COME OUT SO YOU CAN FACE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE WRONG AND WHO YOU REALLY ARE SO YOU ARE UNABLE TO HIDE THAT I want people to learn what racism and bullying look like now I am black and did nothing at all remotely wrong and the white person who did all the wrong in this situation was gaslighting me trying to make me look like a crazy where I did nothing at all wrong And even after the police report indicated the white person did wrong, they did not apologize or even try to but they continue to stalk me and keep tabs on me but never will they just do the right things and apologize and come clean and be honest about their true feelings and that they have been living a lie most of their lives trying to fit into a white image fearing theyd be disowned by white family/friends for being who they are which is a white guy attracted to black women since high school I DONT CARE IF YOU KEEP TABS ON ME OR READ MY POETRY BUT I DO CARE THAT I HAVE NOT RECEIVED AN APOLOGY BY NOW ====================================== But really I think about all the young people out here who are victims of racism and bullying and they are not strong and they kill themselves or try to kill themselves because someone else does wrong to them and gaslights them and they do not have the strength or courage or know how to fight back appropriately ============================= Racism and bullying are things that have been with us for too long But it hurts that a man who loves me who I love has committed acts of racism against me as well as acts of bullying then he did not even apologize or go to counseling or try to make things right with us I was beaten down by you being mistreated so bad But with time I am getting more strength and am determined to not be stuck and I want my pain to help other people a lot as well So below is the youtube video that inspired me to write this poem And well I am starting to think about putting out a video on Youtube about my experience complete with the police report which is a public document ========================= The thing also my captain is that I can prove what I have said--- you are the one who told Sister Annette we are soulmates who love each other and belong together for life and you are the person with the race problem who is not with me only due to my race not being white But even though you knew this about yourself you came and got me involved with you offering me a real relationship and we fell in love going out for months in love and happy then you lay on me 8 months later that I have to be a secret so you do not have to have courage to be who you really are in front of white people and show that you love me and I matter to you very much too You pulled out a knife and threatened me then you badmouthed me to whites for doing nothing at all wrong then you lied on me to make me look bad wrongly gaslighting me and THAT IS WRONG ========================== I WANT THESE YOUNG KIDS TO UNDERSTAND THE GAMES THAT ARE BEING PLAYED I WANT THEM TO WALK AROUND WITH TAPE RECORDERS WHERE LEGAL AND TAPE WHAT IS BEING SAID OR EVEN GET A BODY CAMERA I WANT THESE KIDS TO LEARN HOW TO FIGHT BACK APPROPRIATELY THOSE WHO KNOWINGLY AND INTENTIONALLY MISTREAT THEM FOR BEING NICE I WANT THESE KIDS TO LEARN HOW TO USE THE MEDIA OR TO SEEK HELP AND REPORT THINGS TO LAW ENFORCEMENT APPROPRIATELY AND TO HAVE PROOF OF WHAT THEY GO THRU SINCE MOST SCHOOL SYSTEMS ARE GONNA PLAY DUMB TO THEIR PAIN JUST LIKE THIS BULLIERS PARENTS DID AND YOUR PARENTS IGNORED YOU PULLING A KNIFE ON ME AND LYING TO ME AND ON ME TOO I WANT PEOPLE TO LEARN HOW TO HANDLE THESE KINDA SUBTLE THINGS THAT ARE TOXIC APPROPRIATELY NO ONE REALLY WINS WITH THIS KINDA STUFF SO PEOPLE SHOULD JUST TREAT PEOPLE RIGHT TO BEGIN WITH ========================= I DID MEET SOMEONE ONLINE WHO COULD HAVE BEEN A REAL AND POSSIBLY SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP BUT THEY POSTED INVOLVEMENT WITH SOMEONE ELSE BEFORE ANYTHING GOT STARTED AND MY CAPTAIN YOU LIED TO ME WHEN I ASKED IF YOU WERE INVOLVED WHEN WE MET SO YOU GOT YOUR CHANCE WITH ME THEN YOU WANTED ME TO TAKE THE SHIT SIDE OF THE DEAL WHERE I DESERVE TO COME IN FIRST TOO ALL OF THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH ME AND WERE SELFISH NOT THINKING ABOUT IF YOU WERE GONNA STANDUP FOR ME IN THE END AND NOT THINKING ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT I WOULD WANT TO BE A SECRET BECAUSE YOU ARE A COWARD IN TERMS OF OWNING YOUR LOVE OF BLACK WOMEN AND ME WHO IS BLACK INSTEAD I WAS TOSSED TO THE WOLVES AND ABANDONED FOR DOIN THE RIGHT THING AND DID NOT GET EVEN AS MUCH AS AN APOLOGY ========================= As I get older, I do not like this kinda crap But my parents grew up in segregation and had a hand in dismantling it I guess one can say I probably am as good as someone can be at fighting back this kinda bullshit racism and bullying like I have gone thru I have been able to stand up for myself cleanly and that is what I want young people to learn I get so sick of those stories of kids killing themselves and hurting themselves because of racism and/or bullying And my captain I think about what you have done---- You gave me hope that at last I had met my soulmate who was gonna treat me right and be there for me when you told me you would be MY CAPTAIN Then when our relationship came out to whites you turned on me and threatened me with a knife then you never apologized or tried to make anything right but instead lied on me and lied about what happened and I had to go to the police to report what occurred to prove it happened then even after i did that you did not apologize I guess because no one forced you to and it seemed like to me your parents knew you were wrong and no one cared at all about the wrongs done to me I am black so I am supposed to act like it never happened but it does not work like that HOW CAN I ACT LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED WHEN WE BOTH ARE TELLING SISTER ANNETTE WE ARE SOULMATES AND TALKING AND MARRIAGE AND BABIES AND HAVING CHILDREN TOGETHER BECAUSE WE BOTH FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT EACH OTHER AND LOVE EACH OTHER AS SOULMATES AND LIFE LOVES I AM WILLING TO ADMIT THIS TRUTH YOU ADMIT THIS TRUTH TO SISTER ANNETTE BUT EVEN SISTER ANNETTE THINKS YOU WOULD DENY WHAT YOU SAID TO HER IF SOMEONE WHITE WERE LOOKING BECAUSE YOU NEED COUNSELING TO REALIZE THAT IN THE 21ST CENTURY NOT EVEN WHITE PEOPLE CARE IF YOU LOVE A BLACK WOMAN AND MARRY HER AND HAVE MIXED RACE BABIES WHAT IS SO SAD ABOUT THIS IS THAT THE PROBLEMS ARE ALL IN YOUR HEAD MY CAPTAIN BECAUSE YOU ARE TRAPPED IN EARLY 20TH CENTURY RACISM AND BULLYING IN THE 21ST CENTURY WHERE MOST PEOPLE ARE LEARNING TO HAVE MORE ENLIGHTENED THINKING ABOUT RACE AND BULLYING AND AGREE THAT IT IS WRONG BUT THE SAD REALITY IS THAT I GOT SCREWED FOR DOING THE RIGHT THING AND BEING HONEST AND NO ONE IS COMING ALONG TO TRY TO MAKE ANYTHING RIGHT FOR ME ============================= So I will figure out how to constructively speak about it all Poetry is good but maybe Youtube can have even more of a positive impact All I know is I did nothing at all wrong I should never have been treated like the bad guy where you should have apologized a long time ago MY CAPTAIN and someone should have made you apologize and do right even if you did not want to ...and in the face of proof of your wrong I feel your parents or someone else should have made you apologize EVEN IF YOU DID NOT WANT TO Racism and bullying of persons of color especially keeps happening because whites who do it do not perceive there being a punishment or a penalty for wrongly mistreating a woman of color like myself and this white mans adopted daugher AND THAT IS WRONG THIS STORY GOT A LOT OF ATTENTION I FEEL BECAUSE THE FATHER OF THE BULLIER LOST HIS JOB BECAUSE HE GOT CAUGHT BULLYING A GIRL OF COLOR WITH A WHITE FATHER AND NO ONE WANTED TO BE ASSOCIATED TO HIM WHO DID THAT AND DID NOT EVEN THINK THAT WAS WRONG SO MY CAPTAIN----- HOW YOU MISTREATED ME WAS WRONG! IT WILL CATCH UP TO YOU ONE WAY OR THE OTHER ESPECIALLY WHERE YOU DID NOT APOLOGIZE OR TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE WRONG AND MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME AND DO LIKE THIS MAN AND MAKE IT A TEACHABLE MOMENT TO HELP AS MANY PEOPLE AS I CAN https://youtube/watch?v=iKVQX35yYc8
Posted on: Mon, 26 Jan 2015 02:26:27 +0000
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