MY LIFE ON CAMPUS _ Kingzpen Episode 1 Remember the son of whom you are.” My mother advised. “Ok ma.” I replied. “Thank you ma.” “Ok, bye.” “Bye ma.” I said, then hung up the call. I can’t let my parents down, I said to myself as I walked out of my room to the quadrangle to ruminate about my assignment which was to be submitted the next day. I had been thinking so deeply for minutes but the idea was still bleak. “Yes!” I shouted on the spur of the moment. Everyone around seated at the quadrangle looked at me astonished. “The guy is drunk.” Some shu-shued to themselves. “E don smoke weed.” Some chuckled, concealing their mouth with their hands. I was so engulfed in joy that I finally got the idea to my literature assignment, so I wasn’t really perturbed about their jests. I rushed to a proximate lecture room to write down the idea I got. I smirked and immediately started writing. After spending hours working on Dr Longe’s assignment, I finally finished. It was late already for me to proceed back to my hall of residence so I decided to sleep in the lecture room. I laid down on a bench, and kept my books on the table in front of me. I last remembered it was 2:14 A.M. before I dozed off. I didn’t really enjoy my sleep because, the army of mosquitoes that attacked me were more or less like the boko-haram sect in action. They made lot of annoying sounds that made me slap myself every single minute. I was so beleaguered by these vermin so I decided to sit up and crosscheck my assignment which I wrote on a foolscap sheet. While scanning, I fell asleep again; nature cannot be cheated, so I placed my ever nodding head to rest on the table. It was a nice sleep. The mosquitoes had retreated. I became so comfortable, exchanging my hands simultaneously from under my resting head. After some hours, I felt someone touched me. I didn’t feel tapped so I change my sleeping position. All of sudden, a slap landed on my cheek which got my sleepyhead back on track. I woke up confused. I was bolted from the blue when I realised it was dawn and right in front of me was a security personnel. I swiftly wanted to arrange my books when I noticed my assignment was gone. I had drooled all over my assignment paper and my unremitting hand movement over it made it look like a paper-mache material. “Won’t you go to your hall?” the security man asked with a commanding tone. I frowned at him with a corner of my eye, because my 30marks was just lying useless in front of me; Dr Longe’s assignment was his test. The security man respected his old self and walked away because I could daze him in a jiffy. I really didn’t know what to do at that very moment because time wasn’t favorable to write another assignment and I couldn’t afford to forfeit 30marks. The best option was to filch someone’s assignment. It was already 7:19 A.M. I hurriedly set out for my hall. Dr Longe’s lecture was for 8:00 A.M. I had less than an hour to be prepared and get my filching mission executed. I got to my hall with the plan of just brushing my teeth and combing my hair; bathing was never an option if I really wanted to accomplish all I had in mind. While I was brushing, I tried all I could to silence the soft dissenting voice that kept playing over and over again in my brain. Although I’m an exco in my church fellowship, but never will I let that interfare in my academics. I will beg for forgiveness afterall, I smiled as I thought to myself. I set off for my mission. On my way, I diverted to meet Bayo, my buddy, at the cafeteria whom I explained my intentions to. He succumbed so easily because I bought him a bottle of maltina to step down the beans and bread he was gobbling. Our plan was well arranged before we arrived at the lecture room. It was 7:47 A.M. when we entered. Everywhere was raucous; guys arguing loudly about the soccer match that was played yesterday, some girls were jealously chatting about the current Miss Nigeria; why it should or shouldn’t be her that won. Me and Bayo were seated at the back of the lecture room looking all around like primary school pupils attempting to cross an express road. After meticulously searching for our prey, we finally found one, Sade. Sade was a busybody, she was busy jumping from one chat group to the other. While she was away from her seat, Bayo made the move according to plan, he went straight to meet Sade to distract her while I ransacked her bag for her assignment. Bayo was a cute guy; girls in my class tripped for him, that gave him an edge to arrest Sade’s interest. Oh my! Sade’s bag gave me arduous time to open. I was so struggling with the zip of her bag that I obliviously began to sweat. The sweat that kept dripping because of fear of been caught in the act. Zip! It finally opened. Thank God, I almost said. Sade was no longer interested in all Bayo had to say again because Dr Longe would soon come in. I raised my head to see Bayo trying his last chance by pulling her back as she turned to come to her seat. My hands were shaking while I buried my head back to continue searching. Bayo kept trying to ignite the fire of a romantic gist they were having while Sade fumed at every bit of it. “Good Morning Sir!” some students greeted. I raised my head up quickly only to see Sade looking at me shocked. My heart was beating very fast and loud, so loud that I could hear it. I remained at a standstill like the three traditional statue positioned at Lagos gateway, still holding her bag with my left hand while my right hand acted like a car wiper, cleaning the sweat that covered my face. My brain was thinking of what to say as she approached where I was, her seat, with a deadly frown on her face. “You all better settle down now!” Dr Longe commanded, “You should have been ready for my class.” Nobody messes around with Dr Longe, not after what he did to Ibrahim, a 400 level student, last session. It happened that Dr Longe entered their class and ordered everyone to be silent, but Ibrahim was busy conversing with his hausa friend, Ahmad. Dr Longe again ordered for decorum. The class became quiet, so quiet to hear a pin drop. “Kai mutumin nan mai sanko kai kokari ka samu mataji.” Ibrahim muttered, which means ‘Bald-headed man, kindly get a comb.’ Ahmad chuckled; he quickly concealed the sound and his teeth from becoming evident with his left palm. Dr Longe feasted his eyes on Ibrahim. Ibrahim similarly gazed longingly at Dr Longe. “Lai lai ba shaka, zan samu mataji.” Dr Longe enunciated still fixing his eyes on Ibrahim, which means ‘Sure, I will definitely get a comb.’ The whole class was flabbergasted. They never believed Dr Longe understood hausa, debatably speaking it because of his chronic yoruba accent. The class suddenly became rowdy. “Who was he talking to?” Some asked nosily, “What is the meaning of what he said? •••Sheyifunmi•••
Posted on: Sat, 25 Oct 2014 14:53:07 +0000
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